Noah and the Dinosaurs Part Two

Part One here.

The Sacred Papyrus

Carefully preserved among the sacred archives of this curious community is a MSS. copy of the ancient Jewish law, which is said to be the oldest document on earth. It is written on vellum, and is some four or five thousand years old. Nothing but bucksheesh can purchase a sight. Its fame is somewhat dimmed in these latter days, because of the doubts so many authors of Palestine travels have felt themselves privileged to cast upon it. Speaking of this MSS. reminds me that I procured from the high priest of this ancient Samaritan community, at great expense, a secret document of still higher antiquity and far more extraordinary interest, which I propose to publish as soon as I have finished translating it.

Those words were written by a man of unquestionable authority and considerable public stature in the late nineteenth century, in a best selling travel guide he penned after visiting the Holy Land.  Pictured above is a portion of the original vellum.  The translation of the documents was finished and the manuscripts ready for publication about the time Henry Ford was starting to slap out his original Model T automobiles.

One Major Perturbation

The ancient translations were found to be so at odds with conventional religious reckoning they were immediately suppressed!!  The honest truth is that we’d probably not even know about them today if not for the “Godless” Soviet Union!!  It was the Soviet’s embarrassing our sacred American ‘Freedom of the Press and Religion” arguments in the face of the suppression of these ancient (“said to be the oldest document on earth“) religious translations that finally triggered their release!!  In 1962.   A little over FIFTY YEARS since they were first available to be published!!!

The translated documents address many issues of religious curiosity and help fill in a lot of missing Bible data, but for purposes of brevity, I’ve chosen to focus research into the issue of the missing dinosaur problem since the disappearance of these behemoths is a Creationist apologetics worst nightmare.  Good thing there’s ‘scripture’ available that can help them answer the questions God left them scandalously confused about!!

Crockaduck

Almost a hundred years since their initial translation and publication and yet there are still less than one in a thousand of our fine God fearing citizens who is even vaguely aware of the existence of these profound ecclesiastical documents!!  Why have they been so viciously and effectively suppressed for so long now?   This is the actual ‘controversy’ that needs to be taught in our schools and not the fanciful stories of Ken Ham and his Quixotic and fruitless search for the missing crockaduck.  I’m not saying it’s some kind of Alien coverup conspiracy, but….

Gravitas Counts on matters of “Faith”

The only one you can trust is the guy in the middle.

One True Prophet

The sacred scrolls at the heart of this tale were collected and noted by the estimable Samuel Clemens (Mark Twain) seen in the center of this collection of twentieth century religious frauds.   Stay tuned for part three where we’ll look at the actual texts, their origins and authorship, and dissect out the bits about the happenstance of the dinosaurs on the day of the Great Flood as well as provide links to the fully decoded texts for biblical scholars and layman alike to peruse at their convenience.

Enjoy.

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One thought on “Noah and the Dinosaurs Part Two

  1. Pingback: Noah and the Dinosaurs Part One | The Tim Channel

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