When I Was a Kid

We kicked cans in the street
Braved a Jart to the ribs
Thought Jesus would save us
When I was a kid.

We cherished love
The hippies their lids
Jesus played his guitar
When I was a kid.

Time passed quickly
Jesus aged as I did
He wasn’t the guy
I knew as a kid.

I returned to the scriptures
Were they always this glib?
It was never as simple
As I thought as a kid.

The Nazi’s were an anathema
Dictators? Undid
Things were quite different
When I was a kid.

Now Republican Jesus
Sells us out for a quid
That’s not what I’d figured
When I was a kid.

Enjoy.

 

 

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The Ugly T(r)ooth of US Dentistry

It was Saturday night when I realized that my ongoing attempts to delay a much needed visit to the dentist were not going to be operative moving forward.  Suffice to say that the amount of misery that unceremoniously struck me that evening was a rude reminder of the degree of pain that one’s own body can inflict upon itself under the right/wrong conditions.  It’s as if Providence decided right there Saturday night, that it was time for my physical suffering to match that of the emotional pain I’m dealing with watching Trump trying to turn the United States into his own little Banana Republic.  But I digress…

Saturday night was fitful, with periods of semi-peace interrupted by brief sufferings mimicking nothing short of Medieval torture, but Sunday had me waking relatively pain free, figuring I could probably hold out til Monday when surely there’d be more dental options.  I can’t speak for everybody in America, but there are more than a few of us with a disdain for dentists so ingrained that a little Medieval torture seems like a fair trade off to avoid them.  Besides, I’d already made arrangements with Thomas, an old coworker friend of mine from 7-11, for an early Sunday round of Disc Golf, though that was before I knew that Saturday evening was going to be a challenging nightmare from Hell.  I mentioned my issue with tooth pain to Thomas when confirming our plans to meet at Poudre Middle School on Sunday morning and he offered and brought me a tube of OraGel which I applied lavishly upon his arrival.

We leisurely walked several rounds of nine hole disc golf in the cool breeze of the high mountain meadows morning.  In the ensuing Battle Royale, I was soundly thrashed beyond all hope and recognition as Thomas put on a disc golf show he’d previously been hiding, presumably up his ass somewhere.  I think he was taking out his frustration and aggravation on somebody smashing his car door with their foot, leaving both a huge dent and a matching dusty shoe print in the process.  Normally I could use such distractions to my advantage but I was a bit wrung out from the night’s torture sessions and didn’t really feel like inflicting the extra emotional carnage on Thomas that he’s come to expect from me.  Next time I’ll have to double up on the distracting old guy rants if I want to have any chance of upending these youngish middle-aged sport sharks.  Be assured, he took no mercy on me whatsoever during the round.  I’d have preferred to win but not having done so is no reason to denigrate the good time we had.

In what had to be one of the most awkward goodbyes in the Hipster Era, Thomas left me simultaneously writhing in pain, and wishing him a good day from my cot in Nellybelle because ‘the pain’ decided to go Level 10 at that moment and I was hopeless against it.

It was Thomas who mentioned Comfort Dental in Loveland, informing me that they accept my government dental benefits.  Thomas is close enough to being poor I knew he’d have advice on poor people health and dental care options.  I zeroed in on the Comfort Dental in Loveland near the Walmart at 57th and 287 for first thing Monday morning.  End Part One.

#hoboheretic  Enjoy.

The Big Wheel of Wanker Weed

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With Republicans formerly most famous for privatizing jails to profit off imprisoning pot smokers now running after jobs in the pot industry as fast as Trump chasing after a piss-laden prostitute in Saint Petersburg, pot will be legal before you know it. Continue reading

War Horses

Screenshot 2018-04-15 at 10.18.40 AMWhen the children of a certain ten Republican senators down in Louisiana ask them what they were up to during the Syrian Crisis of ’18 they can proudly look back and point to their valiant, but futile attempt to uphold the right to have sex with animals as their contribution to the nation’s safety.

Enjoy.

What’s Really Going On.

To my fellow Americans.  Actual people I know, as well as those of you who appear real to me by virtue of your social media signatures, take note.

Trump colluded with the Russians, using sophisticated marketing analysis of data obtained from Facebook to Soviet mind-f#ck tens of millions of Americans into voting for him.

It would probably have been 100 percent legal if he hadn’t employed the services of Russian hackers and saboteurs which is what really pisses him off.  He thinks he can hire and fire ANYBODY he dam well pleases dontchaknow?

It was effective with at least some small percent of the most gullible among us.  They’re not hard to spot.  It’s like a sad remake of the Heaven’s Gate “Away Team“.

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The Lazy Boyz Brigade (with Sean Hannity reprising the role of Marshall Applewhite), are eager to fall into full recline, consume the tainted Trump Steaks, tie a plastic bag full of Hillary’s stolen emails over their heads and then cover themselves with a purple MAGA blanket in anticipation of arrival at the Spaceship TruckNutz hiding behind the  Comet Hale-Bopp. where they will be be awarded with fifty virgin AR-15’s.

Having conclusively established evidence that you can fool some percent of the people all the time I still contend that Trump’s base numbers are as heavily inflated as both his ego and girth.

We’re being led to believe that Trump couldn’t shake off his supposed 33 percent of ‘core Republican supporters” even if he dug up the corpse of Reagan and shat all over it in a live pay per view TrumpTV event while Stormy Daniels, suspended from above, rained copious amounts of piss on his mangled mandarin mange.  And in an odd ‘Oh, by the way, which one’s Pink?” moment, his most solid support is reported to be among the most pious?

The acquisition of the data may very well have been a standard marketing transaction.  Selling your digital soul is what Facebook does that allows them to offer such fantastic ‘free’ services.

It’s all a part of that pesky Facebook TOS agreement being as least as difficult a legal quagmire as Trump’s side-whore confidentiality agreements.

Scientific application of that data, available to those with budgets far less grandiose and slightly less subversive than that of Soviet statecraft, can dramatically alter perceptions in ways that are academically demonstrable.

How in the bloody hell do you think diamonds became a girl’s best friend?

If you think Trump’s use of “FAKE” everything isn’t a calculated part of his Soviet funded propaganda campaign to overthrow America you probably already own the box set of purple MAGA blankets located amidst the stacks of old newspapers you’ve been hoarding since the late 1940’s.

The ginned up perception of Trump’s unflinching solid base of support is as fake as tits on a pumpkin.  It’s another ‘crowd size’ delusion being perpetrated by the ONGOING and unaddressed attack on reality being perpetrated by the Soviet state.

These aren’t just the opinions of a modern day prophet living in his van up in the high mountain meadows, these are mainstream, four star general, certified American hero patriot facts. 

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Dear Donnie, you can’t pretend to support the troops while simultaneously shatting all over them (with Stormy Daniels suspended from above, pissing all over you..duh)  and get away without consequence, unless you are Putin on a display of epic treason.

About time Bobbie Brass Balls #Mueller puts the kibosh on all this IMHO.

Enjoy.