Mysterious Ways

If you are of a certain religious bent then the correct answer to the question of “Why did the religious extremist do a heinous act?” is that God made him (it’s almost always a “him”) do it. I suspect the reason that God channels most of his most heinous acts through the hands of men is that Eve made him suspect the feminine reliability of following insane orders from men very early on.

Enjoy. 

On Faith

Debating God Slobberers

Long before they go cosmological or ontological on you, there’s this bit of pablum you have to wade through with almost all of your run-of-the-mill God slobberers.   Here’s the short list of the debating tactics of those on the religious short bus and how to deal with them:

The Gob Slobberer Starter Toolkit

1. You are mad at/hate God.
2. You wish to masturbate (more enthusiastically?) without oversight. (Masturbation just manages to squeeze out “practice homosexuality” as the ‘go-to sin” above the Mason-Dixon line).
3. You are lashing out at “the church” because (e.g.) a priest masturbated you a little too enthusiastically or you had some other negative experience at church.
4. You haven’t looked for God in the right places.

The Skeptics Responses

1.  I wish there was a God to be mad at but since that’s s a fantasy of yours I don’t share I’m going to have to hold you personally responsible for all the chowder-headed nonsense you’re spewing and the damage that occurs as a result.

2.  I do the best I can not to embarrass the ghost of Oscar Wilde.

3.  The soft hand of a Catholic priest would have been a Godsend in lieu of the total subjugation of my mind which was attempted in order to help me find comfort in the patently ridiculous notions being promulgated by mindless goobers like you.

4.  I looked everywhere for God as a child, but it was all to no avail. Were the father, son and holy ghost all too busy for for my toast?   Upon puberty it finally hit me.  Vaginas seemed the likeliest hideout for God that I hadn’t already searched in my youth.  Checked a bunch….nada God there..

I’ll keep looking to broaden the sample size but I’m skeptical I’ll find anything other than an echo in even the largest of vaginas.

Maybe God is too ashamed to show his face after looking around and seeing what a horrible job he did in the first place.  That’s a distinct possibility and the one I’d run up the flagpole if I was a master goober in religious apologetics.

Enjoy.

Another Pastor Quits God

There’s a story floating around on the internet about a preacher who is joining the secular swim team.   Ryan Bell has come out as an atheist and rationalist after a year of ‘testing the waters’.  He’s concluded that trying to triangulate God into the equation of life is more difficult than actually doing real scientific equations!  Congratulations Ryan!

That said, I picked up this bit from an interview he did here on the subject of atheist values.

“I recoil from a one-track-minded scientism that I sometimes encounter—as though science has all the answers for every question that a person has ever asked”

I wish he would have named names because I know of no outspoken voice in the field of “scientism” (wtf?) who speaks in such certitudes.  I’m sure I’m late to the party on calling him out for this, such is the eagle eye of Jerry Coyne at Why Evolution is True, but it deserves a bit of pushback.

Ryan Bell, the ex pastor, can be forgiven for an inability to fully visualize the truth about science because he’s probably still got a lot of God slobber in his eyes.  The bedrock of modern particle physics is the Uncertainty Principle which ought to have given him some clue as to where science sets the limits!  Quick! Somebody get him some science books…. and a box of Kleenex.

Enjoy.

Sure Got Quiet

 Family Matters

If Everyone Was Listening

On Family Matters

After a barrage of bullshit out of my nieces back in Fort Dodge yesterday, aimed directly at my supposed shortcomings, I took affirmative action to reduce the background noise.  It appears that the strategy has been successful and I may now resume my normal political, dog and life blogging.  In other words, it’s back to sex, drugs and rock n’roll, or at least as much of each as a rocker my age can muster.  Maybe my ‘family’ figured out by now that the things they think they can use to undermine my “authoritah’ and “embarrass” me are exactly those things which I have already blogged about?  I dunno? Since they complain I haven’t visited them enough over the years while totally overlooking that they have NEVER visited me it’s hard to figure. The clueless self delusion of my family is now the stuff of legend.   I’m half hoping they’ll be foolish enough to continue their idiocracy because my web stats are going through the roof!  Dawn’s mangling of English alone is comedy GOLD.

Yes certain things were shared pre Tim in America, but your dilutions in your mind make them worse than they are. I’m done doing laundry on here, I have FAMILY to attend to that’s far more important than how u feel or were treated. Enjoy the last of the money u have left, lololol  (Do you even have enough money to be able to feed and care for your recently adopted dog Molly??  Not according to your mom!  You won’t find any happiness waiting for me to go broke sweetie.  Dam, that’s gotta sting!)

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Bad Week for Scientology

One of Many Apostate Websites

A bad week for Scientology is a great week for the rest of us!  The worst-of-the-worst in misusing faith, the Scientologists hold a special place in my heart that was previously a toss up between Mormons and crazy Pentecostal snake handlers.  Check these three recent post by Tony Ortega, the recognized expert on Scientology scams.

The Underground Bunker

1) Scientology spies busted filming a private get together.  Creepy much?  FFS.

2) I’m going directly to Sears and spend some money first chance I get based on this!

3) HBO and BBC in race to present Scientology expose videos!

Enjoy.