Welcoming The New Neighbors

The budget deal is a sure thing.  They Republicans never let the government or banks fail.  Relax.

Here’s why it can’t happen:

The only people with jobs will be those in charge of cleaning the debris, blood and broken bodies of bankers flinging themselves to their deaths from their perches in Wall Street penthouses.

There will be no money for wars against every imagined Arab shadow.

Vast hordes of giggling potheads freed of persecution would spread their evil hippie messages of free love and peace all over the land.

No government watchdog would get paid to keep track of marriages by race, religion, gender or species.  Rick “man on dog” Santorum silently weeps.  Guy with eleven wives in Utah fires up the grill.

Faith-based funding would disappear faster than Reverend Ted Haggard after he got caught snorting meth off the dick of a gay prostitute.

But the biggest reason we’ve nothing to fear from their budget blustering is that they are in real danger of losing their own ill gotten gains and being forced to live hand-to-mouth like so many of my old neighbors back in Mississippi.  They know it and aren’t likely to tempt fate.  They’re pathological liars, thieves and father-rapers, but even a sociopath isn’t normally that suicidal.

So there you have it.  It’s hardly an exhaustive list, but even in this heavily truncated form, there are too many things I like for it to actually come about.


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