The Big Wheel of Wanker Weed

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With Republicans formerly most famous for privatizing jails to profit off imprisoning pot smokers now running after jobs in the pot industry as fast as Trump chasing after a piss-laden prostitute in Saint Petersburg, pot will be legal before you know it.

It’s already legal out here in Colorado and I’ve done my best to immerse myself on the topic with as much energy and enthusiasm as one might reasonably expect an aging hipster to muster.

One thing I’ve noticed is the creativity involved in naming the various pot strains on offer at the many recreational and medical dispensaries that brighten our neighborhoods and bring great benefit to the citizens here in the high mountain meadows.

I recently purchased a can of weed containing an eighth of an ounce of a blend named “Ghost of Leroy” from a company called Honest Marijuana.  I made more than a few riffs playing along the lines of “If anybody sees me mentioning anything related to the Ghost of Leroy don’t be confused into thinking I found Jeebus” which were received with the normal level of enthusiasm I’m used to seeing when sharing my creative meanderings.  But I digress.

Today, I will focus on creating the names of weed strains that will appeal to Republican wankers once pot is legal . This naming convention presumes a natural tendency of folks in wanker dense areas to favor associations they are comfortable and familiar with while simultaneously ingesting vast quantities of republican branded cannabis strains guaranteed to put them in a stupor far deeper than even that experienced watching Fox News.

I’m only too happy to advance the cause of marijuana legalization ahead as fast as possible even if it involves a bit of sleeping with the enemy.

My dream is that these focus-group tested names will help to speed  the “seed to dime bag” delivery systems in those formerly weed-blighted areas.

Suggested Wanker Weed Strains

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#hoboheretic  Enjoy.

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