It’s not everyday you get to witness an honest-go-goodness UFO sighting. My guess is that most people probably haven’t had the experience for themselves. The last time it happened to me was over forty years ago in the Air Force while living in the barracks at Peterson AFB. A bunch of us jumped in a car and chased down the source of that “UFO” to a low flying advertising plane with matrix light displays under the wings operating about six miles west of base towards the foot of Pikes Peak. So up til now, my only UFO sighting did get identified, thereby making it identified, and therefore moot. And that’s how I figured I’d go out of this world. My one chance at achieving crackpot “I’ve been alien probed” notoriety, nothing more than an ephemeral incident of my slightly more succulent youth.
Well I figured wrong, but in a good way. Turns out I did live long enough to see another UFO, yet (so far at least) avoid the dreaded probings. Let me expound. I was staying out in the high mountain plains with one of my host families last month, about twenty miles east of my many holdings here in the high mountain meadows. It was nearing sundown when my friend came out to Nellybelle for a late afternoon Colorado smoke session.
Out of the blue he inquires, “Have you seen the UFO’s?”
“No, but I see you Bogarting that blunt over there! Don’t try and distract me with stories of ET you cheeky bastard! You know you are in the presence of a superior skeptic!”
I thought that was the end of the conversation but my friend insisted he wasn’t bullshitting me. Been my MO to take claims of UFO sightings from dudes sitting around at sunset, toking blunts as fat as my middle finger, with more than a fair degree of skepticism.
I dropped the “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence!!” bomb on his ass like I was a WWF wrestler standing on the top of the ring, about to slam down on my off-kilter opponent. Just like on the WWF, there I was, airborne and dropping from the top rope when he rolls outta the way and I smack down hard on the mat……
“Google it” he says as I peel my face up off the canvas and try to collect my wits, all the while reminding myself, “Mama said there’ll be days like this“.
When the children of a certain ten Republican senators down in Louisiana ask them what they were up to during the Syrian Crisis of ’18 they can proudly look back and point to their valiant, but futile attempt to uphold the right to have sex with animals as their contribution to the nation’s safety.
The Tim Channel 