Straining For Credibility

The wobbly thinking women of Atheismplus have truly found their niche.

All the Skepchicks in their master’s chamber (at 4a.m.), still can’t kill the beast:

So she called to the Captain, “Please bring me some whine.”

He said, “We haven’t had that spirit here until you lost your minds”

And still those voices are carrying him far away.
Wakes him up in the middle of the night,
Just so they can bray:

Welcome to the Hotel Carborundum!
We’re livin’ it up at Hotel Carborundum
Are you so surprised that we tell such lies
Bashing all the guys?

Hi friends! Excuse me, but I need a moment to turn down my MPscree player so you can hear me speak a bit more clearly. OK, let’s roll.

I watched in awe and disgust at the first act in the #Atheismplus comic tragedy, the one that began over a simple cup of coffee in a faraway land not that long ago.  The stagecraft lacked direction and the subject matter was so obtuse that many in the audience could not engage in the “suspension of disbelief” necessary to enjoy such poppycock. Shorty thereafter, when a prominent foreign critic had the temerity to weigh in on the wastrel’s imagined woes, things really started to get interesting.


The stage for act two is now set with the lead actress secured for the sequel. The setting remains the same. Picture a lonely Irish hotel on some godforsaken sea-battered crag of land. A Dublin hotel that, not coincidentally, contains a well stocked bar within stumbling distance of the guest-room elevators. Curtain rises soon. Veteran stage critic Justin Vacula (@JustinVacula) has been tasked with the dreary assignment of witness and documentarian to the vodka-fueled banalities that the blue-haired bobble-headed bimbo is expected to bring to the fore.

In the meantime, we’ll all just have to amuse ourselves with the shit-slinging monkey that Ophelia Benson has become. Not that she is ANY different, or even marginally better at the task than her blue haired (or similarly bearded) contemporaries. One trained seal bounces a ball off it’s nose while the other one claps wildly.  Seen that movie too.

One thing is for sure. I missed a huge opportunity to make a name for myself in blogging by not focusing on the single topic most important to their audience, continual whine (not that I’d want them as followers, but just for the sake of argument). If only I’d had the foresight to focus more on the people who troll me and post negative things about me I could be infamous too! Believe it or not, cuddly as I am, there are a LOT of trolls and Timhaters out there to pick from.

It would have required some sacrifice and commitment to be sure. I would have had to spend countless hours winding through the catacombs, Googling myself for haters and then cutting and pasting all those together into semi-coherent web-posts. I’d have had to shift my focus off stuff that REALLY matters but that seems a small price when the payoff would have been much more Me, Me, Me.

On the subject of ME, I am an expert.

I could go on all day long just telling you about me, my wife’s terminal cancer, my son’s upcoming open heart surgery or the troubles my old dog Lizzy has shitting out all the cookies Granda feeds her, but as it so happens, me and @Mykeru have some mirrors that need attaching to my ceiling, so the other stuff will have to wait.


PZ and his Pusillanimous Pixies

As the most prominent atheist comedian on the planet,I give thanks to the many godless blessings that PZ Myers and his not-so-merry band of Girlyban Skepdinks have provided me. A virtual cornucopia of idiocracy to choose from. The only other comedic assignment with more low hanging fruit than I’ve been provided would have been writing jokes for Bill Mahr during the Bush administration. I could have never have imagined (We all knew!) it would still be going strong at this late stage of the game.

But I don’t make the news, I just report it. PZenu and the pusillanimous pixies of Feminology are holed up over at Pharyngula, which to those unfamiliar with Feminology, is the Internet equivalent of the safe haven carved out by Scientologists in Clearwater FL. Like their cohorts in nonsense, the Feminologists were quick to invent their own rules and jargon. Being blocked and banned as a suppressive person was their initial mimicry. Here we are a couple years on, and now they’ve got an automated process for blocking content off their computers that’s even slicker than the blocking software the Scientologists make their people use to protect them from vicious (truthful) Internet content!)

I swear on the imaginary soul of my long departed mother that I am only adding the tiniest bit of hyperbole as I recount these cult-like similarities, and we haven’t even touched on the Feminologist-specific jargon issue yet! Suffice to,say that those idiots over at Pharyngula HQ are so Out Tech on proper skepticism that rehabilitation seems out of the question. The girls over at the PeezOrg have spent way too much time hooked up to their she-meters. There is always a little hope for their recovery but that’s assuming you could wrestle them away from their firm grasp of PZenu’s balls in the first place (Please no photoshops! (I see it already!)) I run a clean ship over here.

This will probably break the heart and soul of those like Michael Nugent (pity the poor dumb bastard) who favor a policy of NOM (non overlapping menseshysteria) between skepticism and the outright bat shit insanity that appears in faithless femininity, but I see no place for allowing evidence free claims to invade and dilute organizational attention away from the mission of figuratively (trigger warning) bitch slapping creationists and Jeebus slobberers who employ the same techniques (tactics).

One final little dingle dongle to make note of. A sad reminder that the virulent nature of memes (both good and bad-thank you Richard Dawkins) goes on unabated, and can laterally transfer from one group of pusillanimous pixies to another. In the latest example it caused a death (of Adria Richard’s career) and she wasn’t even a part of the skeptic movement! It’s not “something in the water” at conferences or a germ picked up off an unsanitary toilet seat at the buffet restaurant loo (unless that’s where Adria happened to be sitting when she got infected reading the Rebecca Watson Slate article e.g.). There is protection available for those who need it. Simply following this blog or my Twitter feed is a good first step.

Hat Tip to the many positive women of skepticism. Their inspiration and support instills a tingling sense of wonder in the nether regions near my dangling tender jiggly bits. I would name them but I’d sound like Brigham Young reading off a list of his many wives and besides, I’d never kiss and tell.