Bacon, Ballistics and Bullshit

In Search of Bacon

Today’s post recounts my foray into the “Guns n’ Ammo” department at a Walmart in the great plains. It began when I accepted an offer to tag along to Walmart with Victor, a friend and fellow Vietnam-era (gun nut) veteran. On this trip, Vic was not shopping for gun stuff, but was instead shopping for a new “assault knife”. This seemed like a bit of overkill to me since he was already carrying a legally registered concealed firearm, but whatever.

I normally avoid situations where “Walmart and Firearms” are involved, but on that day it didn’t matter. I needed some bacon.

When Vic arrived to pick me up he was talking some “Fox News” Obama crap which I quickly spanked down. Though tarred with a bit of Tea Party taint, I knew Vic has a general disinclination for killing liberal atheists, and seeing how that overlapped with a large number of zombie meth heads wandering around everywhere, this rendered Vic’s concealed carry as an asset. I’m not sure whether it’s Zombies or Meth-heads who are attracted by the scent of bacon, but I’m sure it’s one or the other.  Best to be safe.

I kinda-sorta felt like Jay-Z out on the town with my own personal bodyguard.

You accept whatever risks are necessary when you need bacon. Nuff said.

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2015 Political Preview

What is Happening

I’m so tired of seeing all the ‘best of 2014’ crap being regurgitated through the blogosphere I decided to move things in the other direction.

Fascist Pigs

9/11 brought state sponsored terrorism to New York where it took hold.

Police Work Slowdown

You can currently see the effects of the disease in the actions of today NYPD, whose work slowdown is nothing if not a terrorist threat aimed directly at those whose taxes fund these extorters.

State sponsored terrorism isn’t only for foreign enemies to use against us.  We’ve become pretty adept at inflicting it upon ourselves!  Rudy cheers!

Capitalist Pigs

Dozens of Moms will be “accidentally” shot by their kids, though only a small percentage at WalMart by their babies, so please continue to shop with confidence.  MABB  (Mothers Against Ballistic Babies)….anyone?

Undercover Footage of Over the Counter carnage

Walmart has a very visible onsite armory complete with stores of ammunition usually located very near the hardware department! This could be handy in case of open insurrections (or Zombie Uprisings)

).Assault Rifles at Walmart

“Break Glass in Case of Emergency” is an unspoken motto among Walmart’s Sunday morning sniper rifle shoppers.

What Could and What Will Happen after the jump. Continue reading

Baby Shoots Mom at Walmart

The woman, who had a concealed weapons permit,dangerous weapon in her purse was shopping Tuesday with her son and three other children in Hayden, a  politically conservative  gun nut crazy town of about 9,000 8999 people about 40 miles northeast of Spokane, Washington.

Live by the sword.

Related:  Bacon, Ballistics and Bullshit

Enjoy.

The Future of America

Thanks to all the parents for letting me get these photos of their cherubic progeny while I was wandering the aisles of various Fort Dodge merchants today doing my usual window shopping while my sister stocked up on holiday food for the upcoming Thanksgiving feast!  I turned 57 half an hour ago, and if I don’t get a single present this year it’ll be fine by me because the joy I captured in the faces of these kids is worth more than all the presents in the world.

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Enjoy

Why Walmart Failed in Germany

Far and away the most heavily trafficked blogpost of mine in recent history. Might be approaching my Nasa Moon Hoax post from the late 20th century. (Max on the Moon) The German Walmart disaster story is still number one daily in my stats even after nearly TWO years from the original posting. Enjoy.

The Tim Channel

Walmart, the most successful retail operation in the US, failed to make even a dent in the largest and most vibrant European economy (Germany) after losing a billion dollars in the process of bungling their German market experiment with so much failure it is now the stuff of local urban legend..  Let’s examine the reasons.

Cultural Hubris

“The problem was the company’s business philosophy, which had always worked so well,” wrote Frankfurt’s Börsenzeitung in what pretty much amounted to an obituary. “It’s people-centered – but that doesn’t actually work when the people aren’t American.

The company gave the job of masterminding Wal-Mart Germany to an American who didn’t speak a word of German.

The Germans weren’t fond of the Walmart practice of hiring old people to accost greet them at the door, nor were the German workers impressed with morning warm-up sessions (“Higher Profits Uber Alles! — Can I get…

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