Accidental Honesty

Not so long ago, Donald Trump was promising the American people ‘So Much Winning” that we’d get tired of all the winning.  The Dotard repeatedly told us all to be prepared for an amount of winning that would exceed that of even the estimable Charlie Sheen.  And before anybody asks, the answer is NO!,  I am not still upset about that failed job application I made to Team Sheen once upon a time.  You don’t take a chance you don’t stand a chance.

Once Trump started ripping Catholic babies off the bosoms of mothers named Maria and the so-called moral majority remained silent, it forever tainted the remains of the evangelical Christian Nationalists by highlighting that their morality is more suspect than Hannibal Lectors choice in diet,  I called that a win. Remember that once the Marmalade Colored Mussolini got into office, we weren’t five minutes into the actual Dotard Era before we were being intellectually assaulted by the ‘crowd size’ claims of Little Donnie, yet those with the most obvious exaltations against bearing false witness were, and still are, the most vociferous apologists for Trump.  

From that point on, the majority of America not myopic or mentally different enough (Amen, Christians!) to accept faith over truth, immediately defined ‘Winning” as “Trump being unceremoniously exposed as a compromised Russian asset with a megalomaniacal attitude towards American justice, long standing tradition and the kind of good common sense our mama’s raised us with. 

I’m told that the Psychic Friends Network Department at The Tim Channel feels the same towards Fox News and foresees that Sean Hannity is bound to end up being charged as an accessory.

What Have We Learned?

If you are determined to consort with hookers and decide to run for President, you have to own your debauchery.  Brag on it instead of being ashamed.  Have the hookers in the middle of your raucous crowds, waving banners and braggin’ about your ‘stamina’!!  Trump was just raised in the wrong epoch.  Trapped in an earlier era’s primitive advertising injunctions against evangelizing the benefits of libertine sexual expressions and afraid to confront the so-called moral majority he is beholden to.  In a much earlier era, perhaps the ‘conservative’ one he desires a return to, he could freely fuck his horse at or after an Emperor’s feast in front of the entire Senate and it’d hardly raise an eyebrow. You kinda have to pity a guy born so far after his time.

For at least the last year, there’s been so much winning in regard to exposing the obvious crimes noted above that’s we’re now at a point where indictments, convictions and pleas are falling faster than Monica Lewinsky’s panties ever could.  We just learned today that Trump paid at least a couple women hundreds of thousands of dollars to keep quiet about how far he had them pull down their panties!  We even know that The National Enquirer paid the hush money on the notification of his now convicted and imprisoned lawyer, Michael Cohen.  We know Trump is Individual 1.  Is this not a glorious holiday season!  Overwhelmed with the winning.

And that’s even before factoring in the extreme ‘winning’ that the “keep the hookers quiet during the election” side of the equation brought to the hullabaloo.  There is the entire “Butina just plead out” to funding the NRA thing. Pictures of her have been seen hanging on the office walls of off half of the Republicans in congress.  Same dudes we daily see masturbating over their God given right to own assault rifles (with extra capacity magazines), enhanced by the lingering scent of her perfume on their collars no doubt.  The NRA is going bankrupt, simultaneously at the time of the withdrawal of all that Russian laundered payola.  The National Russia Association is another victim of Trumpianism.  Like the Republican party itself.  Near bankrupt and not worth saving.  Never imagined I could win this big in my entire life.  That may be the only thing Trump actually ended up being honest about without knowing how much it’d end up biting him in the ass.

Enjoy.

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TrumpTV Ratings Disaster

How long before the FBI or the CIA cancel the unabashedly unpopular and horrifyingly vulgar new TV reality series, “Orange is the New Moscow”?

It’d be nice to think that maybe Congress and the Senate could get together for about a five minute confab and clear this overly bronzed Bozo out of the Green Room once and for all but even the good weed out here in the high mountain meadows hasn’t yet managed to make me that optimistic.  (I’ll keep working on it though.  You can be dam sure of that.)

Congress can’t act because as we’ve all witnessed with our own two eyes, every high ranking Republican with the will and a woody must have taken a free trip to Russia for some of that sweet Saint Petersburg poontang.  Putin’s got them all trapped in some sort of piss parade.

The Russians could drop the X-rated hit “Raining Republicans” onto Netflix, charge five bucks a view, and rebuild the entire Russian Empire on the returns from that alone.

Imagine Vlad, shouting out “They will pay for all our walls!” to an enchanted Russian cocktail audience of oligarchs, as Papadopoulos, Manafort and Carter Page tip wine glasses to each other in the midst of that sordid soiree.

Meanwhile, Trump is dancing around Twitter as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Benghazi we loved you!, but Witch Hunt and Fake News are trying to stuff Hillary’s hacked Russian emails into the nutsack of a 300 pound fat man living in his mom’s basement.

The fifteen Russian hackers already living there are seriously short on space because of all the file cabinets stuffed with Trump’s confidentiality agreements hidden behind the left nut.  There’s political gold in the situational comedy opportunities presented right there that have been squandered because of the ineptitude of Trump’s disorganization.

Ratings in the toilet.  Totally ineffective public relations and advertising strategies.

The whole idea of having critics (and potential witnesses) of the series strangled and poisoned by nerve gas has not provided the intended ratings boost to stop the Orange slide.

Cancel the dam show!!  It’s way too derivative of James Bond and Caligula, and I’m going to have to check, but I’m relatively certain the Simpsons already did it.  This is your crazy grandpa.  This is your crazy grandpa on Twitter.  This is your crazy grandpa on Twitter with the nuclear button by his bedside and the FBI about to break into a fat man’s nutsack.

Sleep well America and hope that Uncle Bobbie can wrestle the button away from the Mandarin Colored Muscovite before he blows us all to Hell and back.

Enjoy.

 

 

Failure to Investigate Russian Connections

The Big Question

Who else is compromised inside the Republican circles?  Is their reluctance to take action against Trump fueled by more than partisan fervor?  It would be adolescent to believe that Russian hacking and compromising would be limited to Trump.  It’s not beyond the pale to imagine that this Russian push to compromise US officials is limited to just the Republican party either.  Did I miss this conversation on ‘traditional media’?

Enjoy.