Inside the Revitalize America Act

To stave off what they know is an increasing public relations disaster (for Jeebus in general and Republicans in particular) there are gathering whispers that the Republicans are going to offer up a more modest proposal on immigration, the patriotically titled (Duh!)  Revitalize America Act.

An Overview

The Act proposes to thrust open our southern borders to all the helpless and struggling children of this hemisphere who wish to be relocated to ‘shelters’ in Mississippi, Arizona or Florida, states long known for their hospitality, temperate environments and deep cultural connections (to such well respected national icons as Nathan Bedford Forrest, Jeb Bush and “Good Ole” Sheriff Joe Arpaio).

In these proposed immigrant oases, the children will receive the security they desperately seek, learn valuable life skills, be provided a life sustaining diet and receive regular measured exercise. The icing on the cake is that every welcomed child immigrant will get a front row seat to the dazzling miracle that is unrestrained US corporate capitalism.

Republicans Find New Enemy

Always on the lookout for enemies (real or imagined), the Republican party has finally decided that the real impediment to their plans for American dominionism are not the evil Muslims after all!

Recent polling done by a bevy of rightwing pollsters indicates that Grandma and Grandpa are the real threat to the aims of the Republican party. Therefore, they must be dealt with accordingly.

As if taking a cue from the Scientologists, Grandma and Grandpa are now considered ‘fair game’, and as such, Republicans are in the process of treating these SP’s (suppressive person) with as much disdain and derision as any good Scientologist in a similar position.

They’ll loudly point out how useless these old farts are to our society (which Grandma and Grandpa built) and how we ought to make them carry their own weight and quit sucking out an existence on the backs of ‘honest’ hard-working folks like they imagine themselves to be.

Sometimes they disguise themselves as defenders of the poor and meek, but always in the cloak of a free enterprise solution. There’s no need for the public to fund old people on end-of-life issues. Not when the private sector has already implemented de facto death panels of their own! Just look at the millions of old folks facing insurmountable free-market health care costs who are forced to do without medicines in lieu of bread. The free market solution will work it’s magic on them soon enough without unnecessary government interference.

I fully expect the next line of Republican attacks on our seniors will require Grandma and Grandpa to provide an original US birth certificate to continue living in the country, or face immediate expulsion and confiscation of whatever meager possessions they might still be clinging to.

Enjoy.

Nobody Could Have Predicted

Get ready for a sudden unexplained shift in Republican popularity in Jackson Mississippi.  The tables are set:

The Forty Year Old Virginess

Christine O’Donnell, the Republican teabag candidate running for the Senate from Delaware, claims to have led a totally abstinent life.  I just realized that she’s over 40 years old and is claiming a degree of virginity that one could only assess (because she tells us so and she is so afraid of lying that she’d have outed Ann Frank to the Nazis if asked) as inhumanly bizarre.

Not only does she claim virginity, but she also claims that she doesn’t believe in masturbation as well.  In this regard she has more in common with your average Muslim male suicide bomber than any American I know.   Like a horny Muslim shepherd pondering a good sheep buggering, she must be seething with hormones that cannot be otherwise dissipated.

This type of behavior breeds an anticipatory delight for sex that is so strong, it fuels an army of young Muslim men to commit some of the most unfathomable acts of violence.  They’ll literally do anything to get a shot at some of those 72 virgins promised to martyrs.

The big difference between those sexless, single Muslims and Christine O’Donnell?  She is free to deviate from the excessive prescriptions of fundamentalist Catholicism without the fear of reprisal.  Many Muslims are not.  The enforcement division of the Catholic church has lost the ability they once wielded in earlier eras.   The average American Catholic, along with the vast majority of the population at large, refuse to inflict the type of social consequences that once helped the Church maintain social compliance at the neighborhood level.

So well and good then.  It’s a marginally free society we live in, and Ms. O’Donnell is well within her rights to practice her peculiar lifestyle as she sees fit.  Her official status as part hot chick and part American Taliban,  makes ignoring her as difficult as refraining from watching the most popular viral Youtube videos.  It’s not like it’s my dam fault I’m a sucker for a good puppy video.

The question for America that is looming larger and larger is this:  At what point in a representative democracy does the train go off the rails when the actual people doing the representation are an aberrant abstraction from the people at large?  What force of nature (the pretty as Palin factor?) causes a majority of any group to choose a leader so removed from their own personal experiences?

Which leads me to my final question.  Did they ever really get those Diebold electronic voting machine irregularities issues sorted out to the satisfaction of all?

Enjoy.

Lost in the Dust of 9-11

Enron – An Implosion on Wall Street

November 29, 2001

“The company’s autopsy will be a complicated affair, entailing numerous lawsuits. What is already clear, and will come as a shock to millions of trusting individual investors across America, is that the financials of a Fortune 500 company were essentially a mystery. Enron’s death watch began last month when it grudgingly disclosed that $1.2 billion of its market value had vanished as a result of “related-party” transactions with private partnerships that enriched company insiders. Then Enron admitted that it had overstated its profits over the last five years by $600 million. Dynegy cited Enron’s lack of forthrightness as a reason to walk away from the merger agreement.

Not very long ago, competitors and Democrats in Washington were worrying whether the close ties between Enron’s chairman, Kenneth Lay, and George W. Bush would give the company too much influence. Enron has aggressively lobbied, with some success in recent years, to limit regulation and disclosure of its trading operations.”  #seenontheweb

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February 1, 2015  (appended #remash update)

Creative accounting and “deregulation” allowed millions of American’s to be duped into furthering the wealth of the few at the expense of the many. Republicans continue to stifle all information that would make them look bad under the guise it’s to keep our kids safe from terrorists.

Republicans have already figured out how to save our children from prosperity. Will they attempt to figure out a way to shift the blame to the Democrats? Count on them to give it their all.

The Republican party, headed up by the Bush family, is as intellectually corrupt and morally blind as the Enron Corp was financially irresponsible.  It’s no wonder they’re best barbecue buddies are Saudi Arabian Muslims who like to inflict barbaric public floggings on irreverent bloggers.  Bush probably wishes he could strap Michael Moore to a post and beat him bloody too.  He can always count on Colin Powell to testify Moore had yellowcake in his pocket.

Enjoy.