Nye-Ham Debate Retrospective

Protons to Polygamy is Born

I stayed up half the night here in Germany to live-tweet the event and my overall “impression”? Based on the amount of pre-debate skeptic jitters about engaging in a ‘debate’ with a slobbering God botherer, which I normally concur is a bad idea btw, the whole event worked out quite well for the cause of secularism IMHO. Here’s why I feel that way.

First, there’s the relative popularity of Bill Nye easily trumping Ken Ham with all but the radical right wing ultra-minority of folks willing to overlook the reality of science and physics in the 21st Century. Then you toss in Ken Ham’s reliance on Cliff Notes from the prosecutor’s statements against Galileo.  Those are not nearly as effective as when people were engaged in bleeding themselves to death in their holy efforts to excise demons and return to health.

Finally, Ham’s “Molecules to Man” canard, was wholly inappropriate for a debate on evolution as any seasoned atheist debater is familiar with the tactic of shifting from evolution to abiogenesis willy nilly will be familiar with. I was a little taken back (see my live tweet stream) by Nye’s inability or reluctance to go “Christoper Hitchens” mode on Ham and get to some serious nut-cutting. That was a fantasy of mine I knew would not occur, but I was really saddened that Nye didn’t even do a little “soft shoe” Sam Harris impersonation at some point.

Bill Nye: “That all sounds well and good Mr. Ham, but when I read the Bible, I clearly see the story of “Protons to Polygamy” and your disavowing those parts of God’s holy works that you find unsuitable goes directly against your claims made based on other scriptures literal accuracy and contemporary relevance.” 

If Bill Nye had the quick wit and lust for metaphorical nut-cutting that I do, when Ham was busy refuting the literal facts about the Bible supporting polygamy, Bill should have come back with that line and I GUARANTEE you it would be the thing that made the highlight reel. Of course that overlooks the fact that I invented the phrase concurrent to the time of the debate itself, but great minds think alike and Bill Nye has a great mind.

In retrospect, and perhaps as part of Nye’s master plan, he modified Mohammed Ali’s Rope-a-Dope strategy and just let Ham wear himself out while Nye stood calmly covering his head tucked safely against the ropes. Instead of going for the kill like Mohammed Ali, he was happy to just stand there and witness the exhausted and frustrated puritanical pugilist nearly pass out from running himself in circles?

I dunno, but since the “debate” was taped, I expect the best of our secular public schools to use the footage, not as a religious exercise, but as an all-too-necessary exercise in deconstructing the rhetoric of creationist apologetics. FWIW, I had an extremely valuable class in critical thinking. It was in Lincoln, Nebraska when I was in 7th grade public school. Being armed with a proper list of logical fallacies is the secular armament most lacking in the rank and file militant atheism army I am trying to corral. If successful I promise not to let you all build a new religion around me since I’ve already started one on my WordPress blog.

Remember troops. Molecules to Man shall from henceforth on, be responded to with Protons to Polygamy, unless somebody can twist up an even shorter, more catchy “meme’ to undermine the creationist mindset.  H/T to Dan Dennett, and I meme that most sincerely.

Enjoy.

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Gonzo Survivor Recap

Who cares? Now that C-boy has been airlifted out, there is nobody left to root for or against. Game over.

I may return to recapping on the next series if it warrants. I long for a return to Survivor where the contestants have some clue about either strategy or survival. This group of airhead goofballs are really not worth wasting time on.

Enjoy.

Gonzo Survivor Recap

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Photo confirms that C-boy tits are as large as his ego.

WordPress ate my first draft so this is all you get. C-boy is running the show. Log Cabin Republicans (Alabama Chapter) are going wild with excitement. For the rest of us it’s just as painful as sitting on the sidelines watching the Republican primary candidates. Lot of folks comparing C-boy to Russell Hantz (has a new reality show coming soon!). Puffft! C-boy is what I imagine a gay version of Rick Santorum would be like. No, you can’t unthink that, but the sharing was cathartic for me.

New tribes. Worse balance of talent than last tribes. Not a misprint and not, (like the controversy over the utility of condoms the new IPad screen), up for discussion. C-boy found himself on the losing end of team shakeup, but looks to be so momentarily omnipotent as to invoke the aforementioned (and ill-placed) comparisons to Russell. I predict the reign of C-boy will come to an end soon enough, but I hope we get a couple nights rain on his new shelter first. If I had the means I swear I’d be seeding the clouds every evening.

Besides, you can never have too much rain for the free range chickens that grow in the jungle. These chickens, like the DoDo birds of yore, lack a true fear of man. They also seem strangely attracted to the smell of hungry humans if you want my honest opinion. They might have to evolve to the point where they throw themselves into the pot (after starting the fire) if the next group of Survivors is any dumber than these. Next season the producers ought to just go for a tried and true KFC bucket feast if they are trying to aid in the subsistence of the competitors.

I hope I haven’t let too many of the minor details of this week’s episode overwhelm the reader!

Gonzo Survivor Recap

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You can count on a merge next week because the producers are all out of immunity challenges that don’t involve at least a modicum of physicality. To top it all off, they can’t count on the women being any less brain dead than the men in puzzle challenges, so there is no avenue left but to toss them all together and let nature run its course.

C-boy has shown that the saying “Absolute power corrupts absolutely” is not just a meaningless meme, but a lifestyle choice he embraces with all the enthusiasm he likely hugs his paid minority help back on his plantation in Alabama. To be sure, I have steadily mocked C-boy’s effeminata, but it is his repulsive identification as a conservative Republican that would make me most nervous to turn my back on him. I hate taxes as much as the next guy (not really but play along) but if I were gay I sure as hell wouldn’t be cheering on the political party constantly attacking my lifestyle.

But I digress. After a bellyful of C-boy angst and aggravation, the men lose a fairly straight-forward coconut slingshot reward challenge and the girls finally get a tarp. If any of the men were harboring tribal defense notions based around forward operating coconut gunneries, this challenge clearly highlighted the futility of such a design. I am confused at the lack of sponsor support in these challenges. Home Depot too cheap to sponsor a tarp ferchrissakes? A Krispy Kreme sign by those donuts might have added just the extra amount of subliminal boost necessary to induce situational stupidity in such vapid competitors. It’s a three-to-one bet that we would have seen Kat shivering another night in the rain as it melted the last bit of donut juice off her cheeks. She was SO ready for those donuts.

Fast forward to the immunity challenge where the guys are so jubilant with their immunity win they UNANIMOUSLY give it away to the girls! Because…uh..the entire tribe is in MELTDOWN MODE over the discovery that one or more players on their tribe are…drumroll…actually playing the game!

Elf tells TBC (token Black comedian) he is not as safe as he thinks he is. Elf is TBC’s “best bro'”. C-boy, in full drama queen mode, cannot allow this to pass. This must be stopped AT ALL COSTS, even if it involves a circular firing squad.
This is mostly because C-boy says it must be so, but not without the full throated sycophantic support of Tarzaniac, this season’s leading contender for the role of C-boys version of Coach’s mindlessly Godful protege enforcer ScrambledHantz.

There is an awkwardly strained attempt at crafting a narrative around a possible Elf departure, but in the end, what C-boy wants C-boy gets. Bad news for TBC, but he didn’t deserve to go on any longer if he was dumb enough to risk himself after what Elf had told him and the way C-boy treated him when he tried to talk to him in camp. Plus, he wasn’t really that funny.

Dumbest group of Survivors in the history of the show. Epic ignorance. Next week merge. I expect the girls will be huddled up and paired off with whatever is left of male sexuality on the ManMan tribe if my observations on human behavior vis-a-vis hopelessly useless female Survivors of old is any guide.

Enjoy.

Gonzo Survivor Recap

Blue eyes crying in the rain, aka “What’s a girl gotta do to get her some?” (heat) edition. It sucks to be cold in the rain and the girls are as cold, shriveled and useless as C-boy’s nuts at at Arctic Playboy porno shoot.

After much ado with the pitiful state of affairs vis-a-vis their complete suck-age from day one, you know the scene is being set for something good to happen for the women My Nostradamus-like prediction of toenail painting challenges hasn’t yet come to pass, but in place of actual physical challenges this week (once we learned the girls can’t even balance…) the producers had to reach even deeper in the bag of lightweight challenges to find a ringer for the girls. Mission freaking accomplished to the Survivor producers! These boys are as brain dead as they are muscle bound! Couple more puzzle challenges and the soup-for-brains gang would be in serious trouble.

Skip to reward challenge. Memory test/copy item arrangement. If the guys scored a point I forgot about it as the girls thrashing of them was so profound. I think the girls were awarded a canoe, which none of them ever figured out could be used out of water upside down as a nice shelter against the rain….what with it being WATERPROOF and all…..

Skip to immunity challenge. Blindfolded wanderings with a puzzle finish. The guys looked genuinely puzzled when they saw their huge lead disappear. Win number two for the women.

Next, skip to Tribal Council to see the equally puzzled look of the smug tribal bully as he gets bested by the behind-the-scenes manipulations of lowly C-boy, who used the threat of the Immunity Idol at TC, without actually having to part with it. I love the end of show cameo by the LOSER when he posits his demise as a result of the fear of his gameplay and not as a result of being a big douche. Priceless self delusion.

Enjoy.