Panic in the Trenches

The pearl clutching panic among the FTB Girlyban conspirators is still going full bore.  Not since that billionaire dick (Koch) was caught giving a fiscal reach-around to those global warming deniers, have so many loud-mouthed public blowhards been so afraid of having their insider conspiracy exposed.  The degree of anticipatory fear shown by the  #FTBullies  (that Thunderf00t might actually do the kind of document dumping that makes me proud of Bradley Manning), has me wondering if Thunderf00t is actually sitting on equally explosive information.  It is just as likely that they are freaking out because they are afraid Thunderf00t will release their secret “brownie” recipes.  It would be imprudent not to speculate.

Not enough resolution to determine if jewelry passes the Surly Amy standards of acceptable public display.

For all their over-the-top brouhaha, the FTBullies are fun to watch and mock.  It isn’t everyday that you can witness intellectual or cultural evolution of this magnitude in real time!!  We were all getting totally “mocked out” on creationists and religious apologists anyway.  Even the sight of PZ dry humping Ken Ham’s fiberglass Dino-donky was starting to fade in allure.  And then there was this:

The Bukkake Factory is considering suing her for trademark violations.

You know what I’m telling you is true because back in the old days (before BigPappa fell under the spell of the red-headed hippie chick above), we used to have real cohesive internet social gatherings.

Holy Christ on a Cracker!,how I long for the good old days when a certified sacrament of questionable moral acquisition could be openly desecrated by BigPappa to the delight of all skeptics.

I blame the presence of so many jack-booted Girlyban enforcers, heavily armed with their intimidating “douche detectors”  for harshing the mellow of the entire movement.  There isn’t enough Preparation H available on the entire planet to stem the massive output of “butthurt” being spewed by the hyper-vigilant  SHE ORG division of Girlybantology Inc.

I would be too busy spending money to blog if I had the presence of mind to go bullish on hemorrhoid cushions early last year.

In my wildest dreams, I never imagined having a front row seat to a New Century religious movement that blended (tiny) bits of rationalism, Scientology, secrecy, radical feminism, Fox TV “debating” techniques, Muslim fanaticism and hero worship; all in one fell swoop!  Given the breakaway faction’s science geek provenance, it isn’t specially shocking to see them borrowing freely from their more successful peers on the lunatic fringes.  I guess we should count our blessings that they haven’t yet tried to enforce a Klingon-Only language policy at Skepticon or TAM.  That could be a bit much to bear, as the guys are still getting used to the mandatory guyliner applications and hair braiding sessions.

I honestly do regret having to see many great men of skepticism and science slandered (Dawkins, TF, Krauss, Grothe, Hitchens, ElevatorGuy…) while simultaneously witnessing former giants of our movement toilet-hugging drunk on their power (PZ, Dillahunty).


Hide the Weenie

Today’s post is a reflection on something that is rolling around the feminist arena that deals with in-group discrimination tactics.  In this instance the vocal nutjob of the organization isn’t Skepchick trying to artificially define or manipulate male-female interactions to her whims. In the MadFem variant of perverse reverse sexism, they are trying to set rules on in-group definitions to keep out male transgenders.  Only girls “born that way” need apply.  I know.  Seemed pretty easy to figure out when I was a kid way back when.  It is a lot more complicated these days, but by now I thought every forward thinking progressive had decided that if you are committed enough to have your weenie whacked, choke down enough estrogen to give you bigger breasts than an aging Ron Jeremy, and go through a certain level of psychiatric song and dance, you pretty much qualified as a girl.

Here’s more details for the strong stomached (h/t Scented Nectar);

There was supposed to be a RadFem2012 conference in the UK, in July, with Sheila Jefferies who is very vocal about hating trans women. Conway Hall, the place that they rented for it, recently told them that the deal is off. Why? These feminists broke the Terms and Conditions regarding issues of discrimination by having anti-trans speakers. Conway Hall does not rent to hate speakers.

Turns out that even castration and sexual reassignment surgery isn’t enough to distance oneself from the taint of your former maleness in the minds of RadFem.  Holy shit, what’s a guy gotta do to fit in with these RadFem freaks?  Pat on the back to Conway Hall.

Skepchick just wants you to keep your mouth shut and pretend not to look at her tits (and ferchrissakes keep your perverted desires to yourself you over-caffeinated sex machines!).  Compare that to these RadFem bitches who won’t even let a dickless chick attend their Hissy Fit Convention.  Wow!, and did you know a lot of Black folks don’t recognize the disconnect between hating homos even when they have been victims of discrimination themselves?  I dunno why that came to mind, but it seems somehow tangentially relevant.

RadFem will find a convention hall that is more interested in money than human decency.  They ought to bring their freak show to the USA and compete with the gay hating crank preacher.

RadFem, check with Mitt Romney.  I think he owns Marriott.  He is Mormon, but they make exceptions for sex freaks at their hotels so they can overcharge for PPV porn in the rooms.  Does your organization hate gays in general?  I dunno, but that would be a bonus and not a bug for a Mormon.

The most outspoken of the dickless chick haters, who I perceive as the RadFem equivalent of Skepchick “leader” Rebecca Watson is apparently this Sheila Jeffreys woman, was rumored to have been overheard muttering;

Who the hell wants a bunch of butchered up butch chicks invading our conference in the first place?  Those wanna be bastard-esses have enormous feet and the RadFem toenail polish budget is already strained to the breaking point.  Have they no sympathy or compassion at all for a true Sista?

For the record, here’s a couple of pictures of the aforementioned Sheila Jeffreys (spelling corrected), the woman with the most hate for these large toed monsters and their freakishly enormous Adam’s apples:

One can clearly see the need for a leader like Msss. Jeffreys not wanting to butch-ify up the organization any more than she does.

I would LOVE to know where the GASbaggers (Girlyban Apologetic Society jargon-Dam Dawkins and his meme virus) comes down on this issue. Where do they stand on the issue of chicks formerly with dicks? I have no problem with dickless chicks (most I know) or chicks formerly with dicks (so long as they keep it in their pants…uh.?..,), but I got real problems with dickless chicks ACTING like pricks. There is some serious God dam poetry, haiku or free verse in there. Fuckin’ pay attention people!

Girls of GAS works for me too. Sassy Ass Bitches of GAS kinda rolls off the tongue. Hey I’m open to suggestions. You outta see some of the ones I get already!! I got girls writing me all the time. OH Yeah!. It’s well past the 80’s and I’m down with the ladies… But I digress.

Something to talk about around the misogynist male water cooler when you get tired of trying to catch a side boob sneak peak at one of the many assorted sideshow Skepfreaks.  Thank me later.

I once speculated that after leaving office, torture enthusiast and noted Bin-Laden-determined-to-attack-American denying, Condi Rice might go to work for CHRISTTT, because she had so much mainstream religous rightwing religotard support. You do know CHRISTTT, don’t you?

Don’t feel bad if you don’t, because it is an imaginary place I created for satirical purposes based on an imaginary guy created for satirical purposes, so you are….uh…forgiven.

Center Heading Research In Support of Torturing Toddler’s Testicles

Holy CHRISTTT!  Their mission;  If there’s one thing imaginary satirical Jeebus hates more than anything, it’s the children of the world. Red and Yellow, Black and White, their tender dangling nubbins are in for a fright!

And for the record, (ok, and maybe even make the GASbaggers/Girls of GAS(?..evolving) MORE nervous) even an accused douche-bag like me is not twisted enough to have imagined up the perverse sexual tortures John Yoo LEGALLY authorized…against children. These girls are worried about a bunch of drunken frat boys mixed in a casino convention crowd and sick fucks like Yoo are teaching college in CA (last I noticed) and I hardly hear anybody mentioning it anymore.  Seems more important somehow in the scale of things.

Keep the Unfaith