2015 Political Preview

What is Happening

I’m so tired of seeing all the ‘best of 2014’ crap being regurgitated through the blogosphere I decided to move things in the other direction.

Fascist Pigs

9/11 brought state sponsored terrorism to New York where it took hold.

Police Work Slowdown

You can currently see the effects of the disease in the actions of today NYPD, whose work slowdown is nothing if not a terrorist threat aimed directly at those whose taxes fund these extorters.

State sponsored terrorism isn’t only for foreign enemies to use against us.  We’ve become pretty adept at inflicting it upon ourselves!  Rudy cheers!

Capitalist Pigs

Dozens of Moms will be “accidentally” shot by their kids, though only a small percentage at WalMart by their babies, so please continue to shop with confidence.  MABB  (Mothers Against Ballistic Babies)….anyone?

Undercover Footage of Over the Counter carnage

Walmart has a very visible onsite armory complete with stores of ammunition usually located very near the hardware department! This could be handy in case of open insurrections (or Zombie Uprisings)

).Assault Rifles at Walmart

“Break Glass in Case of Emergency” is an unspoken motto among Walmart’s Sunday morning sniper rifle shoppers.

What Could and What Will Happen after the jump. Continue reading

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Psychic Abilities Shown Here

The government will not be shut down long folks.  This I can assure you.  It would destroy the wealth of the rich people.  They are not used to being poor.  Even though Fox News has all the poor people cheering for a TWO MONTH shutdown, it’s not going to happen because the rich people really can’t afford it.

That is all.

Enjoy.

Testing Theories

There are some competing theories bouncing around the skeptical blogosphere concerning security for women at conferences.  Rebecca Watson, aka Skepchick, made some very public claims concerning the safety of women at skeptic-atheist conferences, and there is some seemingly solid reporting, that female attendance at these conferences is way down.

One point raised as a reason for feminine drop in attendance is the false impression of insecurity that the Skepchick over-promotion and hype on Elevator Guy started last year, and now apparently extends to infinity and beyond as well.  Welcome to FTB, Thunderf00t!!

Let’s examine two possible future skeptic conference advertising strategies just to see how they might play out in actual practice.

Option One.  (Lubricant not provided)

What the world needs now ISN’T love sweet love.  No indeed.  What the world needs now are sexual harassment policies at atheist conventions.  That’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.

Henceforth, we shall only advertise skeptic events with a minimum of 50% of all our advertising stressing and highlighting our forward-thinking sexual harassment policies.  We’re gonna do this not just because we aren’t dicks (or that we’ve been sufficiently butt-hurt by the Girlyban Gasbaggers), but because we want to get as many women to participate in our events as possible.

Predictive analysis:  Our advertising is successful and we attract even more emotionally and sexually immature females to join our group.  Overheard at future conference, “You want a peek at my voluptuous neurosis or did you really just want to share a cup of coffee?”

Option Two. (Burning JeebusMan)

We advertise our events as being as close to a good old fashioned Roman orgy as you can get without the invention of a time machine.  Burning Man without the sand.  Thinking outside the box, maybe we even book it at a Vegas Hotel.  Nothing says P A R T Y like a nice Vegas Hotel.  We warn all women who dare to come that they should expect an overabundance of nerdy, yet horny science geeks, with more testosterone than common sense.  Make sure to highlight that many of the male participants will be coming directly out of the social development womb of their parents basements and heading directly to the casino bars, where they will be dulling their already blunted social acumen by consuming copious amounts of alcohol.  Be sue to point out that for all their sexual braggadocio, these guys are easy to pussy-whip into compliance, and being above average intelligence, often make productive mates and good fathers.   In other words, honesty in advertising.

Predictive analysis:  A successful conclusion to such an ad strategy could result in a huge increase in female attendance, The kind of females most likely to respond to such an appeal would be free-spirited hippie chicks with limited inhibitions and toothy smiles.   We sell more tickets to women and men.  Attendance goes through the roof.

Enjoy.