To stave off what they know is an increasing public relations disaster (for Jeebus in general and Republicans in particular) there are gathering whispers that the Republicans are going to offer up a more modest proposal on immigration, the patriotically titled (Duh!) Revitalize America Act.
The Act proposes to thrust open our southern borders to all the helpless and struggling children of this hemisphere who wish to be relocated to ‘shelters’ in Mississippi, Arizona or Florida, states long known for their hospitality, temperate environments and deep cultural connections (to such well respected national icons as Nathan Bedford Forrest, Jeb Bush and “Good Ole” Sheriff Joe Arpaio).
In these proposed immigrant oases, the children will receive the security they desperately seek, learn valuable life skills, be provided a life sustaining diet and receive regular measured exercise. The icing on the cake is that every welcomed child immigrant will get a front row seat to the dazzling miracle that is unrestrained US corporate capitalism.