Blaming Xenu

Despite creationist protestations to the contrary , I understand that I can’t “prove” that Jeebus “speaks” to me with any kind of scientific rigor, (at least not the kind that actual scientists “believe in“).

In the hazy shadows provided by the dictates of “non overlapping magisteria“, Jeebus has every right to reach out to anybody he wants and to tag any old reprobate as his messenger, making me as logical a choice as anybody, now that Hitch is dead.

The message Jeebus seems to be beaming to me lately is, like the visions of TV show psychics and spiritualists, a tad lacking in specifics.  If you don’t keep that foremost in your mind, you could end up as crazy as a teenage kid bent on digging around a forest for mysterious Golden Plates.

It is undoubtedly just part of Jeebusmysterious ways that the messages people get from him are so often mixed and garbled.  With all those caveats in mind, the BEST I can sort out of Jeebus’ message to me, because of background chatter from the Xenu Inter-Galactic Network, is this:

Whenever anybody “likes”, “retweets”, “follows”, “favorites” or “subscribes” to any of my web posts, Jeebus bends down and pats his dog on the head, baby bunnies smile, and at least one old man gets a tingle in his nether regions.

So it is written. So it shall be done.