Are the Aliens After our Weed?

It’s not everyday you get to witness an honest-go-goodness UFO sighting. My guess is that most people probably haven’t had the experience for themselves. The last time it happened to me was over forty years ago in the Air Force while living in the barracks at Peterson AFB. A bunch of us jumped in a car and chased down the source of that “UFO” to a low flying advertising plane with matrix light displays under the wings operating about six miles west of base towards the foot of Pikes Peak. So up til now, my only UFO sighting did get identified, thereby making it identified, and therefore moot. And that’s how I figured I’d go out of this world. My one chance at achieving crackpot “I’ve been alien probed” notoriety, nothing more than an ephemeral incident of my slightly more succulent youth.

Well I figured wrong, but in a good way. Turns out I did live long enough to see another UFO, yet (so far at least) avoid the dreaded probings. Let me expound. I was staying out in the high mountain plains with one of my host families last month, about twenty miles east of my many holdings here in the high mountain meadows. It was nearing sundown when my friend came out to Nellybelle for a late afternoon Colorado smoke session.

Out of the blue he inquires, “Have you seen the UFO’s?”

“No, but I see you Bogarting that blunt over there! Don’t try and distract me with stories of ET you cheeky bastard! You know you are in the presence of a superior skeptic!”

I thought that was the end of the conversation but my friend insisted he wasn’t bullshitting me. Been my MO to take claims of UFO sightings from dudes sitting around at sunset, toking blunts as fat as my middle finger, with more than a fair degree of skepticism.

I dropped the “Extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence!!” bomb on his ass like I was a WWF wrestler standing on the top of the ring, about to slam down on my off-kilter opponent. Just like on the WWF, there I was, airborne and dropping from the top rope when he rolls outta the way and I smack down hard on the mat……

“Google it” he says as I peel my face up off the canvas and try to collect my wits, all the while reminding myself, “Mama said there’ll be days like this“.

End Part One……..

Unspecified Miscreant Update

I’m not saying I’m gangsta’ but it takes some doing to get banned from a FAKE casino without even trying.  Zynga Poker.  To wit:

I can’t even imagine any terms of service I could have broached in the 85000+ hands I’ve played there over the last several years, but the overall experience was mixed at best, so it’s no great loss.

I’d like to give you some insight into Zynga’s abrupt ejaculation but dam if I’m gonna go digging through their customer service nightmare to help them FIX their service.  The reasons for them buggering me are UNSPECIFIED, which basically means I’ve managed to do something so horrific they don’t even have a regular category to fit it into!

You better watch me folks because I’m (allegedly) a thoroughly dangerous man.  Zynga is most likely in the process right now of passing my Gravatar icon around to all the other casinos.  I’ll be lucky if I can gain entry to a Vegas strip lounge by the time they finish with their electronic character assassination!

Still, just when you think they might be getting most of the bugs worked out of their system you see that’s a pipe dream.  Just remember kids.  If Zynga can do this to me with no notice you might want to think twice (or three times) before investing in that new tablet version of their Farmville offering.  You might get up one morning to feed your cattle and find that Zynga has rustled them all and sent them to the slaughterhouse!!

I’ve removed everything Zynga from all my devices and suspended their access to my Facebook. They have shown they do not have the social media savvy to discern friend from foe so I will also have to assume they lack the technical ability to safely protect my account information as well.

Enjoy.