Long before they go cosmological or ontological on you, there’s this bit of pablum you have to wade through with almost all of your run-of-the-mill God slobberers. Here’s the short list of the debating tactics of those on the religious short bus and how to deal with them:
The Gob Slobberer Starter Toolkit
1. You are mad at/hate God.
2. You wish to masturbate (more enthusiastically?) without oversight. (Masturbation just manages to squeeze out “practice homosexuality” as the ‘go-to sin” above the Mason-Dixon line).
3. You are lashing out at “the church” because (e.g.) a priest masturbated you a little too enthusiastically or you had some other negative experience at church.
4. You haven’t looked for God in the right places.
The Skeptics Responses
1. I wish there was a God to be mad at but since that’s s a fantasy of yours I don’t share I’m going to have to hold you personally responsible for all the chowder-headed nonsense you’re spewing and the damage that occurs as a result.
2. I do the best I can not to embarrass the ghost of Oscar Wilde.
3. The soft hand of a Catholic priest would have been a Godsend in lieu of the total subjugation of my mind which was attempted in order to help me find comfort in the patently ridiculous notions being promulgated by mindless goobers like you.
4. I looked everywhere for God as a child, but it was all to no avail. Were the father, son and holy ghost all too busy for for my toast? Upon puberty it finally hit me. Vaginas seemed the likeliest hideout for God that I hadn’t already searched in my youth. Checked a bunch….nada God there..
I’ll keep looking to broaden the sample size but I’m skeptical I’ll find anything other than an echo in even the largest of vaginas.
Maybe God is too ashamed to show his face after looking around and seeing what a horrible job he did in the first place. That’s a distinct possibility and the one I’d run up the flagpole if I was a master goober in religious apologetics.
A bad week for Scientology is a great week for the rest of us! The worst-of-the-worst in misusing faith, the Scientologists hold a special place in my heart that was previously a toss up between Mormons and crazy Pentecostal snake handlers. Check these three recent post by Tony Ortega, the recognized expert on Scientology scams.
Good morning to all. This is the first service from America since returning from my socialist utopia in Europe. As such, I’m highlight a song this Sunday that I ran across right before leaving Germany. It was part of a Philliips Ambilight commercial I saw and what caught my attention was the part about not talking the easy road. Why do you suppose that struck a chord with me? LOL.
I hear a voice calling
Calling out for me
These shackles I’ve made in an attempt to be free
Be it for reason, be it for love I won’t take the easy road
Prelude to Services
See all of you soon at the top of the stairs!
At the top of the stairs they got keys to Cadillacs, BMW’s Mercedes Benz’s and all of that.
The lunatic fringe known as the Mississippi Tea Party is going bonkers over their loss to Senator Thad Cochran in the recent primary runoff. There is literally no tactic they haven’t considered (legal or illegal), in their attempts to seize power. It is their complete disregard for American jurisprudence and common standards of human decency that led a handful of them to conclude that sneaking into a nursing home and photographing Thad Cochran’s Alzheimer-afflicted wife would be some kind of political coup d’etat.
The Dean of Debauchery
With the dust not yet settled from either their illegal behaviors or the loss of the Republican primary, one of the masterminds behind the ill-advised break-in recently committed suicide (so we are told). His name was Mark Mayfield (seen above) and by offing himself in such a dramatic fashion, he has ensured that his legacy will always be “the McDaniels lieutenant who killed himself rather than face justice for his crimes”. He’s not the first Tea Party idiot that I’ve known named Mark who has bought the farm. It’s safe to say that given the choice of continued living in Mississippi, or killing yourself and burning in Hell, Mr. Mayfield is indeed “in a better place” now. Take from that what you will, but for the sake of your future male children, please have the decency not to name them Mark. Everybody knows the only good Christian name worth having is Timothy!! Why else would God name two books of the Bible after me?
The Fallout
Like a wounded tiger, the uncontrolled and artificially-created beast that is the Tea Party incarnation of Fox News is lashing out in Mississippi. The overt racism which always seethed just under the collar of a ‘reconstructed’ Mississippi is on full display. What Bush did with the twisting of the definition of torture is now being applied to the definition of voter fraud! How do you know if it’s voter fraud? According to Mississippi Tea Party activists, If the voter is Black, then it’s voter fraud!!. This is how the simple-minded Tea Party people operate in an attempt to keep things simple, but the tone-deafness of their racism is simply unbelievable!!
The Tea Party Constitution
Tea Partiers are quite content to use the second amendment as their favorite masturbatory aid, but don’t be fooled into thinking they give two wanks on a dead wallabies weenie about your right to free speech. How can I be so sure? Well, I’ve put them to the test. One thing that rightwing Christian movements have in common, whether they be mid-twentieth century Germans or early twenty first century Tea Party creationists is a proclivity towards banning that which they find offensive. Not at all dissimilar to what we see their fundamentalist Muslim counterparts doing to ‘ungodly’ art in their own neighborhoods.
Banning Critical Artworks
Not content in their efforts to dominate that media in which they can buy and control, the ‘liberty loving’ Tea Party folks are hard at work trying to keep my artistic Facebook creations out of the display of their sensitive and easily swayed flock of rubes. Shown above is a McDaniels parody campaign advertisement that the Tea Party fascists tried to get banned though their dishonest attempts at silencing me. This is in line with their true character of acting in the manner we have com tp expect from the Brownshirt Faction of US politics. Their latest attempt at silencing my creative #timremix works involves a report to Facebook that the following picture contains “graphic violence”! It’s definitely as tasteless as their politics, but violent? I only created it out of ‘self defense” when I read where some of the high ranking operatives in the Mississippi Tea Party were talking about building a memorial to the late Mark Mayfield!! Just thought you should all be aware. There’s entirely too little documentary evidence of their hooliganism and thuggery for people to point and click to. Here’s the ‘graphically violent” picture in question that they just flagged on Facebook:
Profits on the sale of the Mark Mayfield memorial t-shirt are going to improve nursing home security in Mississippi.
Isn’t there a Bible verse of some significance to this bunch of religious knuckle draggers that specifically forbids bearing false witness?
The Tim Channel 