Atheist Sects – June 2148

Truth Being Raped

I suffered through this Girlyban Gasbagger’s hour long wank-fest because, as an unofficial member of the super secret Atheist CIA, I feel I have a responsibility to shoulder even the most obnoxious missions on behalf of our (dis)organization.   If you are wondering, but don’t have time for the video, I have the answer to the question I know most of you are curious about, and the answer is YES! YES! YES!  Did you really think Rebecca Watson could participate in this conversation WITHOUT mentioning her USA TODAY exposure?  Maybe Oprah will call her next?

People often come to me for my opinions on issues because I have a better than average ability for seeing through bullshit.  I was doing drive-time radio in Jackson MS when Bush was throwing all that WMD bullshit against the wall. CALLED BUSH A LIAR on the air and right FROM THE START.  My volunteer unpaid radio gig was only allowed to continue (unlike say Bill Mahr) because the rightwing station owners favored profits (from my “controversial” style and lack of remuneration) over knee-jerk patriotism.  But I digress.

I called bullshit on Skepchick when she went “100% Girlyban gasbag” on Richard Dawkins for his accurate early assessments concerning the nakedness of said Empress. There was an associated and coordinated Girlyban assault on Lawrence Krauss at that time, for his “failure” to presume guilt before trial that was particularly hard to stomach.

I wrote a bit of excellent satire on the matter back during the nostalgic days of Elevator Guy.  I foolishly thought that FACTS would quickly be brought out and the feminist usurpers of skepticism wouldn’t be allowed to continue derailing and sniping FROM WITHIN prominent perches of the organization.  They might have been properly marginalized back then, if not for the support of an obviously aging (and increasingly deranged-syphilis?) PZ Myers.

The cognitive dissonance so many of us are having to deal with right now in trying to square the circle in finding a rationale for PZ to continue faithfully following Brother John Birch Skepchick is difficult to witness.

I would be lying if I told you that I would ever have imagined a day when so many of us are left scratching our heads and thinking, “What the fuck happened to PZ?”   The only guy in recent history I can remember who garnered such negative press within the skeptic community is some unidentified male with a penchant for coffee who happened to cross paths with Rebecca Watson in a hotel elevator (after she pried her drunken ass out of the hotel bar and staggered off to her room at 4a.m.).  That poor (imagined?) bastard at the elevator didn’t sign up for the abuse he got, but that definitely isn’t the case with PZ Myers these days.  One of the links above leads to a theory that PZ is being blackmailed by Watson because PZ is the unidentified creepy elevator guy!!  Dam if it doesn’t make more sense than the crap PZ is spewing these days!!

Creepy Elevator Guy’s imagined physical rape by Girlyban leader Rebecca Watson is much less obnoxious to my soul than the reality of PZ Myers continuing to try to intellectually mind rape us all (while simultaneously trying to make us (like Sarah Palin) pay for our own rape kits).

Enjoy.

Testing Theories

There are some competing theories bouncing around the skeptical blogosphere concerning security for women at conferences.  Rebecca Watson, aka Skepchick, made some very public claims concerning the safety of women at skeptic-atheist conferences, and there is some seemingly solid reporting, that female attendance at these conferences is way down.

One point raised as a reason for feminine drop in attendance is the false impression of insecurity that the Skepchick over-promotion and hype on Elevator Guy started last year, and now apparently extends to infinity and beyond as well.  Welcome to FTB, Thunderf00t!!

Let’s examine two possible future skeptic conference advertising strategies just to see how they might play out in actual practice.

Option One.  (Lubricant not provided)

What the world needs now ISN’T love sweet love.  No indeed.  What the world needs now are sexual harassment policies at atheist conventions.  That’s the only thing that there’s just too little of.

Henceforth, we shall only advertise skeptic events with a minimum of 50% of all our advertising stressing and highlighting our forward-thinking sexual harassment policies.  We’re gonna do this not just because we aren’t dicks (or that we’ve been sufficiently butt-hurt by the Girlyban Gasbaggers), but because we want to get as many women to participate in our events as possible.

Predictive analysis:  Our advertising is successful and we attract even more emotionally and sexually immature females to join our group.  Overheard at future conference, “You want a peek at my voluptuous neurosis or did you really just want to share a cup of coffee?”

Option Two. (Burning JeebusMan)

We advertise our events as being as close to a good old fashioned Roman orgy as you can get without the invention of a time machine.  Burning Man without the sand.  Thinking outside the box, maybe we even book it at a Vegas Hotel.  Nothing says P A R T Y like a nice Vegas Hotel.  We warn all women who dare to come that they should expect an overabundance of nerdy, yet horny science geeks, with more testosterone than common sense.  Make sure to highlight that many of the male participants will be coming directly out of the social development womb of their parents basements and heading directly to the casino bars, where they will be dulling their already blunted social acumen by consuming copious amounts of alcohol.  Be sue to point out that for all their sexual braggadocio, these guys are easy to pussy-whip into compliance, and being above average intelligence, often make productive mates and good fathers.   In other words, honesty in advertising.

Predictive analysis:  A successful conclusion to such an ad strategy could result in a huge increase in female attendance, The kind of females most likely to respond to such an appeal would be free-spirited hippie chicks with limited inhibitions and toothy smiles.   We sell more tickets to women and men.  Attendance goes through the roof.

Enjoy.