Torturing Toddlers Testicles

As we approach the 2014 election season, never forget the blood-lust of the Republican party cheering on President Bush the Torturer while watching him commit the most heinous acts of brutality against humanity in the history of America. All on the basis of “legal” advice from this one guy – John Yoo.

Illegal Advice

I was absolutely shocked when I first heard the exchange, and you don’t have to read too far between the lines to wonder where the question of torturing children’s testicles came from in the first place.  It’s not the kind of question that gets randomly tossed out.  It’s yet another piece of ‘missing history’.

Prove It or Lose It

If there is a truly moral Christian soldier among the whole lot of the otherwise worthless religious wankers, I’d sure like to see it put to a better use than public prayers after the Church pot luck social.

To all the God slobbering, Jeebus’ loving, creationist-leaning, lunatic fringe Christians out there:

I once heard a song about how much Jeebus loved the children, all the children of the world.  Red and Yellow.  Black and White.  They were precious in his sight.

Looking for a Miracle?

If that’s still true, then how about taking time out of your busy schedules of homosexual hating and helping do what you know Jeebus would want you to do for the children?  Speak out forcefully from your pulpits for justice to be served!   I don’t think Jeebus would have approved of slicing up little Iraqi kids testicles with razors to make their daddy “confess” to the whereabouts of Bush’s fantasy weapons.  There’s no stature of limitations on war crimes.

Enjoy.

Tomorrow’s NSA News Today

I swear I am totally making this up, so don’t accuse me of hacking into classified intelligence networks or blowing kisses at Julian Assange when you read this story in the Washington Post next week.

Not Hard to See this Coming

It has just been revealed that the Pfizer Pharmaceutical Company has been purchasing marketing information from a firm found to be a front for the NSA.  The company, Jericho Data Services, using the amassed raw data of millions of phone and email records collected under the XKeyscore program has been reselling that data under the guise of free enterprise marketing services.

Jericho’s Edge

Through judicious scanning of millions of women’s email messages, and identifying those that contained information on unsuccessful sexual encounters with older males, Jericho Data was able to amass a huge list of impotent men.  This list was subsequently sold to Pfizer, who undoubtedly saw it as a marketing coup for their Viagra brand of impotency treatment pills.

Other than the day-to-day manipulation of drug prices and paying off doctors to needlessly overprescribe for profit, Pfizer is not suspected of knowing the source of the marketing list they purchased was from information gleaned through NSA channels.

The two remaining journalists left in the United States are busy trying to track down where the money from this NSA black op was being funneled, though it’s now become abundantly clear to this reporter where the NSA got the funds to outfit all agency vehicles with 22″ rims and full hydraulics.

Enjoy.