What’s Really Going On.

To my fellow Americans.  Actual people I know, as well as those of you who appear real to me by virtue of your social media signatures, take note.

Trump colluded with the Russians, using sophisticated marketing analysis of data obtained from Facebook to Soviet mind-f#ck tens of millions of Americans into voting for him.

It would probably have been 100 percent legal if he hadn’t employed the services of Russian hackers and saboteurs which is what really pisses him off.  He thinks he can hire and fire ANYBODY he dam well pleases dontchaknow?

It was effective with at least some small percent of the most gullible among us.  They’re not hard to spot.  It’s like a sad remake of the Heaven’s Gate “Away Team“.

The Lazy Boyz Brigade (with Sean Hannity reprising the role of Marshall Applewhite), are eager to fall into full recline, consume the tainted Trump Steaks, tie a plastic bag full of Hillary’s stolen emails over their heads and then cover themselves with a purple MAGA blanket in anticipation of arrival at the Spaceship TruckNutz hiding behind the  Comet Hale-Bopp. where they will be be awarded with fifty virgin AR-15’s.

Having conclusively established evidence that you can fool some percent of the people all the time I still contend that Trump’s base numbers are as heavily inflated as both his ego and girth.

We’re being led to believe that Trump couldn’t shake off his supposed 33 percent of ‘core Republican supporters” even if he dug up the corpse of Reagan and shat all over it in a live pay per view TrumpTV event while Stormy Daniels, suspended from above, rained copious amounts of piss on his mangled mandarin mange.  And in an odd ‘Oh, by the way, which one’s Pink?” moment, his most solid support is reported to be among the most pious?

The acquisition of the data may very well have been a standard marketing transaction.  Selling your digital soul is what Facebook does that allows them to offer such fantastic ‘free’ services.

It’s all a part of that pesky Facebook TOS agreement being as least as difficult a legal quagmire as Trump’s side-whore confidentiality agreements.

Scientific application of that data, available to those with budgets far less grandiose and slightly less subversive than that of Soviet statecraft, can dramatically alter perceptions in ways that are academically demonstrable.

How in the bloody hell do you think diamonds became a girl’s best friend?

If you think Trump’s use of “FAKE” everything isn’t a calculated part of his Soviet funded propaganda campaign to overthrow America you probably already own the box set of purple MAGA blankets located amidst the stacks of old newspapers you’ve been hoarding since the late 1940’s.

The ginned up perception of Trump’s unflinching solid base of support is as fake as tits on a pumpkin.  It’s another ‘crowd size’ delusion being perpetrated by the ONGOING and unaddressed attack on reality being perpetrated by the Soviet state.

These aren’t just the opinions of a modern day prophet living in his van up in the high mountain meadows, these are mainstream, four star general, certified American hero patriot facts. 

Dear Donnie, you can’t pretend to support the troops while simultaneously shatting all over them (with Stormy Daniels suspended from above, pissing all over you..duh)  and get away without consequence, unless you are Putin on a display of epic treason.

About time Bobbie Brass Balls #Mueller puts the kibosh on all this IMHO.

Enjoy.

TrumpTV Ratings Disaster

How long before the FBI or the CIA cancel the unabashedly unpopular and horrifyingly vulgar new TV reality series, “Orange is the New Moscow”?

It’d be nice to think that maybe Congress and the Senate could get together for about a five minute confab and clear this overly bronzed Bozo out of the Green Room once and for all but even the good weed out here in the high mountain meadows hasn’t yet managed to make me that optimistic.  (I’ll keep working on it though.  You can be dam sure of that.)

Congress can’t act because as we’ve all witnessed with our own two eyes, every high ranking Republican with the will and a woody must have taken a free trip to Russia for some of that sweet Saint Petersburg poontang.  Putin’s got them all trapped in some sort of piss parade.

The Russians could drop the X-rated hit “Raining Republicans” onto Netflix, charge five bucks a view, and rebuild the entire Russian Empire on the returns from that alone.

Imagine Vlad, shouting out “They will pay for all our walls!” to an enchanted Russian cocktail audience of oligarchs, as Papadopoulos, Manafort and Carter Page tip wine glasses to each other in the midst of that sordid soiree.

Meanwhile, Trump is dancing around Twitter as nervous as a long tailed cat in a room full of rocking chairs.

Benghazi we loved you!, but Witch Hunt and Fake News are trying to stuff Hillary’s hacked Russian emails into the nutsack of a 300 pound fat man living in his mom’s basement.

The fifteen Russian hackers already living there are seriously short on space because of all the file cabinets stuffed with Trump’s confidentiality agreements hidden behind the left nut.  There’s political gold in the situational comedy opportunities presented right there that have been squandered because of the ineptitude of Trump’s disorganization.

Ratings in the toilet.  Totally ineffective public relations and advertising strategies.

The whole idea of having critics (and potential witnesses) of the series strangled and poisoned by nerve gas has not provided the intended ratings boost to stop the Orange slide.

Cancel the dam show!!  It’s way too derivative of James Bond and Caligula, and I’m going to have to check, but I’m relatively certain the Simpsons already did it.  This is your crazy grandpa.  This is your crazy grandpa on Twitter.  This is your crazy grandpa on Twitter with the nuclear button by his bedside and the FBI about to break into a fat man’s nutsack.

Sleep well America and hope that Uncle Bobbie can wrestle the button away from the Mandarin Colored Muscovite before he blows us all to Hell and back.

Enjoy.

 

 

Political Playtime

I figured I would take a short break from my hectic schedule of trying to rebuild my life from scratch to do a little political blogging.  We’re on the cusp of a Presidential election cycle and there’s a ton of stuff going on that needs sorting out.  So let’s get to sorting.

Sy Hersh

I believe him.  What he says makes perfect sense in context with what went down and the fact that the ‘mainstream’ media is piling on Hersh just adds more credibility to what he’s saying.  I can’t remember the last time mainstream media got anything right on issues of the Middle East since at least the New York Times Judith Miller reach-around.  It’s not like he’s saying anything that doesn’t fit exactly within the pattern of a longstanding pattern of Osama Bin Laden protectionism.  You can just see the Saudi’s tossing bundles of money at Pakistan to keep him under wraps and protected.  The only part I’m curious about at all is whether or not we knew he was there all along and Obama finally agreed to payoff whoever needed to be paid off to let us fly in there and take him out.

Invasion of Texas

The sooner the better IMHO. That said, isn’t it now patently obvious that the state which gave us George Bush is about as dedicated to supporting the military of this country as Jeb Bush is to being an honest politician?  The speed at which these numbskulls can go from flag waving patriots to secessionist blowhards is mind numbing.  Expect an “army” of mobility-assisted Medicare seniors to attempt to recreate a scene from Red Dawn in a couple of months when the US military goes to Texas for training.  You’ll want to stock up on gold and seed stock.  Argh.  Go Wolverines!

Bernie Sanders

He’s been saying the same thing for years.  Doesn’t change his position from week to week or news cycle to news cycle.  The people’s candidate.  Don’t let anyone tell you he can’t be elected.  We elected an unknown Black guy president and then re-elected him.  Bernie Sanders is a shoo-in.  I wonder if Hillary would be interested in the vice-presidency?   Go Bernie!

Black People

Black people are pissed.  If you were Black you’d be pissed too.  How about reigning in the out of control police state and prison industrial complex and give our minority citizens a break?  And don’t tell me how slavery ended hundreds of years ago or that Black folks aren’t being continuously harassed and discriminated daily.  Now they’re being accused of turning the country atheist.  If it’s true I’m glad for their support but O’Reilly is just trying to tar and feather the Black folks with everything he envisions as evil.  The country would be a helluva lot better off if Black folks actually were turning to secularism instead of wasting their time and money supporting fake ass preachers looking to buy fifty million dollar Lear Jets.

Jeb Bush

Iraq.  Does he or doesn’t he?  Only his pollster knows for sure.  What kind of mental midget with the last name of Bush is going to think he has a snowball’s chance in Hell of winning the presidency?  Only one whose last name is Bush.   FFS.  There must be a fund raising bonanza or a tax break involved for him to put himself through this much humiliation.

Enjoy.

 

 

 

Quick News Carousel

Announcing launch of The Tim Channel’s Quick News Carousel!  Something I hope will amuse and edutain my audience.  You’ll want to hit the pause button and peruse through these at your leisure because it’s my added captions that add “flavor” to the screen captured headlines and ledes in the slideshow.

Expect these types of posts to become a more prominent fixture.  I could hyperlink to each of the original stories but it’ll suffice for now just to do the screen caps since there are all ‘hot’ news items that can be independently accounted for on the basis of personal curiosity via Google News.

This slideshow requires JavaScript.

Enjoy.

 

Bill Nye versus Ken Ham

“The Thriller over the Gorillas” is about to start in a little while.  It’s on at 7 p.m. eastern time and I’m going to be live tweeting the event for anybody who is interested in a little play-by-play off-color commentary.  Follow me on Twitter @thetimchannel  Look forward to seeing some of you there!

Post Debate Analysis and Highlights

I enjoyed all the interactions with my vast army of angry and mobility-impaired militant atheists during my live tweeting of the debate.  Special thanks to all of you for favoriting and retweeting those missives which struck your fancy.  Not every tweet of mine is Shakespeare worthy but since I’m aiming for the standards of Mad Magazine and not the hoi polloi of medieval England, I’ll be able to live with myself in the morning.

I was using my “broke screen” blue-collar iPad mini for most of the debate, which caused me a great deal of thumbnesia.  I switched to my pristine iPad mini late in the event, only to realize that I’d grown so accustomed to the diddling I was engaged with on the shattered iPad screen that my fingers were rendered almost totally useless on the perfect one.  It seems that all the tappy doo bullshit I had to engage in to keep a semi lucid and steady flow of live tweets pumping out of the compromised iPad had rendered my fingers nearly useless.  I watched for and backspaced over, more repetitive touch screen errors than Ken Ham had instances of repeating his “Molecules to Man” line throughout the evening.

“Molecules to Man” is obviously a field-tested Creationism “sciencey soundbite” as well as a safe harbor to return to at times of confusion or panic and Ham was promiscuous in it’s application.  Even when he wasn’t in obvious panic mode, I swear I could hear Ham, muttering “Molecules to Man” under his breath during the inhale portion of his respiration cycle.  He had to figure out a way to keep squeezing it in somehow, and that was difficult to do on the exhale portion of his breathing cycle which was fully committed to the task of creating a perpetual stream of Creationist boilerplate claptrap.  Ham seemed to offer words like ‘evidence” a special place in his litany.  I’m pretty sure I remember him bringing it up in a list of words that had to be properly defined by Creationist standards.

By a special coincidence of Providence’s own design. the list of sciencey sounding words needing clarification by Ham’s own admission, shared in his worldview a common definition derived from the sole source of reliable human knowledge in the universe, his Bible.

May be more added tomorrow.  I gotta crash.

Enjoy.