HoboTalk – Episode One

Since I’ve mostly defaulted to using my YouTube channel for documenting the last several years of my life (Daily Dose of Tim), I’ve stopped blogging as much as I use to.  I’m not actually writing any less, as those who follow me on Facebook can attest.  I’m just ‘Done’ with Facebook as a platform. They’ve repeatedly shown they are incapable of handling my account and my data responsibly.  WordPress has it’s issues, but at least it hasn’t been front page news for the last couple years for trying to sell us out to the Russians and/or anybody else with ten cents to spare!  And don’t even get me started about the time they blocked me for a month for posting pornography.  I consider the added gravitas of that incident not only a resume enhancer, but also a sign of just how occupational flexible I could be in a pinch.  It’s all about finding the right angles, but I digress.

While we’re on the subject of porn I’m reminded of a cartoon porn version of Star Trek I saw about forty years ago.  One particular line of dialog is forever etched in my brain.  Doctor McCoy to Captain Kirk, “Dammit Jim, I’m a doctor not a dildo repairman!” The plot twist that led to that statement is lost to the vagaries of my galloping senility (though I lose the names still I know the faces. Time has come and left its traces.) but if I recall, it had something to do with an alien army of angry cartoon “Dickheads”.

I am extremely active on Twitter for an old hobo living in a van, tethered to the net with nothing more than spit and vinegar (whatever free public wi-fi is available),  Even with the ‘professional handicap”, I’m still heading towards a quarter million earned impressions, just in the last 28 days! 

That noted, my heart has always been in blogging and I find it more satisfying collecting up a loyal ‘blogging family” than any of the other social media options, though I’ve acquired friends through Instagram and YouTube that are very dear to me as well.  I’m trying to increase my Instagram content at the present time.  The only one I’m actively avoiding is Facebook.

My desire to do video content has waned for the moment, along with the technical means to do so.  This may change if/when I purchase a new videocam.  I’ve been lucky to produce what I have considering the highest level of tech I own is a series 5 iPhone!  This DJI product which I might be able to afford would do a bang up job for me.  It’s the Osmo Pocket seen above.  At three hundred fifty bucks it’s right at the cusp of what an old hobo might be able to manage if Nellybelle doesn’t fall out from under me in the process.  If you haven’t seen or heard about it yet, I’m pretty sure you will before long.  Here’s the skinny.

I had previously claimed success concerning the manner in which I have accommodated the changes in lifestyle made necessary by my habitation in Nellybelle, my beloved ‘classic’ 93 Dodge minivan, but now I am officially claiming total ‘success’ on my relocation project of moving back to the US from Germany.  This is not meant to imply that things couldn’t potentially still go wildly astray in my immediate future.  It’s an important life construct to be constantly wary.  The Boy Scouts call it ‘being prepared”.  It’s what my mama raised me with.

I’m several winters into #vanlife here in the high mountain meadows.  As such, I’ve become somewhat of a local celebrity/curiosity around here, elevating my otherwise lowly status well above the average homeless derelict.  It helps that I worked here in a highly visible retail position here in town for a couple years, and having built up a lot of friends and goodwill along the way.  Being frugal and living long enough to secure the most minimal of SS benefits worked out pretty well for me.  The not dying along the way was a huge part of it.  When trying to parse the elements involved in any of my myriad success stories, be they real time events or rosy historical retellings of past glories, one must NEVER overlook how much my innate fabulosity had to do with it.  I never do. You can be sure of that! LOL.

Given my recent acquisition of another rescue pup who is just as fabulous as I am, there’s every likelihood me and Sammy are going to continue kicking our own brand of high mountain magic right along down the road with us.

The many friends I’ve made here, along with all those I’m still connected with from afar (by virtue of over a decade on one form of social media or the other) are a big part of my ‘success’ here in this mountain village.  Now I’m ready to take it up to the next level in a manner consistent with proper hobo motion (slow).  Baby steps.  I could get a helluva lot more aggressive with my campaign for overnight success, but there are standards of hobo decorum that need to be considered because of my status as a role model for hopeful future hobo heretics to follow.

Did I already mention?  It’s what my mama raised me with.

Enjoy.

 

What’s Really Going On.

To my fellow Americans.  Actual people I know, as well as those of you who appear real to me by virtue of your social media signatures, take note.

Trump colluded with the Russians, using sophisticated marketing analysis of data obtained from Facebook to Soviet mind-f#ck tens of millions of Americans into voting for him.

It would probably have been 100 percent legal if he hadn’t employed the services of Russian hackers and saboteurs which is what really pisses him off.  He thinks he can hire and fire ANYBODY he dam well pleases dontchaknow?

It was effective with at least some small percent of the most gullible among us.  They’re not hard to spot.  It’s like a sad remake of the Heaven’s Gate “Away Team“.

The Lazy Boyz Brigade (with Sean Hannity reprising the role of Marshall Applewhite), are eager to fall into full recline, consume the tainted Trump Steaks, tie a plastic bag full of Hillary’s stolen emails over their heads and then cover themselves with a purple MAGA blanket in anticipation of arrival at the Spaceship TruckNutz hiding behind the  Comet Hale-Bopp. where they will be be awarded with fifty virgin AR-15’s.

Having conclusively established evidence that you can fool some percent of the people all the time I still contend that Trump’s base numbers are as heavily inflated as both his ego and girth.

We’re being led to believe that Trump couldn’t shake off his supposed 33 percent of ‘core Republican supporters” even if he dug up the corpse of Reagan and shat all over it in a live pay per view TrumpTV event while Stormy Daniels, suspended from above, rained copious amounts of piss on his mangled mandarin mange.  And in an odd ‘Oh, by the way, which one’s Pink?” moment, his most solid support is reported to be among the most pious?

The acquisition of the data may very well have been a standard marketing transaction.  Selling your digital soul is what Facebook does that allows them to offer such fantastic ‘free’ services.

It’s all a part of that pesky Facebook TOS agreement being as least as difficult a legal quagmire as Trump’s side-whore confidentiality agreements.

Scientific application of that data, available to those with budgets far less grandiose and slightly less subversive than that of Soviet statecraft, can dramatically alter perceptions in ways that are academically demonstrable.

How in the bloody hell do you think diamonds became a girl’s best friend?

If you think Trump’s use of “FAKE” everything isn’t a calculated part of his Soviet funded propaganda campaign to overthrow America you probably already own the box set of purple MAGA blankets located amidst the stacks of old newspapers you’ve been hoarding since the late 1940’s.

The ginned up perception of Trump’s unflinching solid base of support is as fake as tits on a pumpkin.  It’s another ‘crowd size’ delusion being perpetrated by the ONGOING and unaddressed attack on reality being perpetrated by the Soviet state.

These aren’t just the opinions of a modern day prophet living in his van up in the high mountain meadows, these are mainstream, four star general, certified American hero patriot facts. 

Dear Donnie, you can’t pretend to support the troops while simultaneously shatting all over them (with Stormy Daniels suspended from above, pissing all over you..duh)  and get away without consequence, unless you are Putin on a display of epic treason.

About time Bobbie Brass Balls #Mueller puts the kibosh on all this IMHO.

Enjoy.

On the Road Again

My stay at the corner of Chelsea and Hyde Park in Memphis was bracketed by gang violence.  The day before I arrived a guy had been gunned down just up the block from the auto shop where me and Bandit were staying.  His T-shirt was one of two planted in a makeshift memorial, in an untended lot just across the street from where Bandit and I were holed up (see header pic).  A daily reminder of the senseless randomness of street thuggery in the US today, a good deal of which is fueled by the ongoing refusal of some states to come to terms with legalizing marijuana.  As was the case with alcohol prohibition, this inevitably leads to black market activity and violence is the only ‘legal’ recourse for solving “market” disputes.  There’s a “Saint Valentine’s Day Massacre” happening almost every day somewhere in the poorer parts of the American landscape, but since the dead are mostly poor Blacks and not upscale Italian mobsters, it doesn’t make the ‘news’.  I knew moving in here that the area was a sketchy, but this was underscored in a seriously dramatic fashion Sunday evening. 

Why We Left

“Nelly Belle” loaded up with Bandit taking one last look at the ‘hood.

There was an honest to goodness running gun battle that took place right at this spot early Sunday evening.  

Bandit and I hunkered in for the night and when daylight appeared Monday morning, I decided not to continue to remain in an area that appears, for all intents and purposes, to be one of the primary gang “drug dealerships” in Memphis.  

To be fair, I had never before felt personally threatened by the gang activity.  I was living in their neighborhood and they treated me with kindness, dignity and respect. There was no hint of racial animosity whatsoever.  This in no way abated the fact that the internecine gang skirmishes were a fact of life or that the general deprivations of the area played heavily on my ability to retain my exuberant upbeat attitude.  None of the businesses seen in the pics below are open and even the church shown in this slideshow was ‘out of business”.  You know things are bad when both the pool hall and the church give up on the area!

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Though the deprivations in our living arrangements were harsh. I was thankful to have a place for me and Bandit to bivouac while attending to the issues of the van that my friend Drew Pittman had so graciously gifted me.  I consider Drew one of my secular guardian angels.  The van he gave us is truly a life saver and game changer for me and Bandit as we continue the daily struggle to rebuild our lives back here in the US.

What’s Next?

Bandit and I have moved to a safe location outside Memphis and are in a holding pattern awaiting paperwork on the van which has been promised to be forthcoming.  I will be meeting with Drew over the fourth of July weekend to finalize all that before heading on to Pike’s Peak as has been my intention since arriving back in the US last November.  In the meantime we are both doing fine and expect to have a wonderful Fourth of July weekend just like the rest of America.  Memphis wasn’t all bad by any means and I do not wish to leave that impression.  We loved the parks and the general vibrancy of the city.  Memphis is definitely moving in the right direction and there is a lot of opportunity awaiting those with the gumption to grab it.

The circumstances of my poverty greatly exacerbated the situation and though I actually started working within a week of my arrival, getting both the van in shape and trying to acquire the basic items necessary for life made it difficult to accumulate any real wealth.  It’ll be touch and go for sure until we’re actually in Colorado and settled in but that challenge is more appealing to me at this point than gambling with my safety in Memphis.

Enjoy.

Exodus Update

Changes in Attitude

Today is the day after me and Bandit were planning to head west to Colorado on a seventy day forced march from our outpost here in Oklahoma.  Among those closest to me (and who chose to make their opinions known) there was an overwhelming amount of fear and trepidation about the course of action I had planned.

I thoroughly understand their many reservations and fears because I share (and shoulder) all of them.

The only difference between them and me is that their choices in life haven’t been narrowed thru circumstance and the fickle hand of fate so close to the event horizon of disaster as mine have.

Changes in Latitude

For Fundamentalist Christians wishing this Godless heathen continued pain and suffering, I have some rather bad news:

I have been showered with blessings yet once again in what can ONLY be described as a certified miracle of secularism.

I shall refrain from boring you all with the happy details at the present time. Suffice to say that it involves an offer of employment and an abode for me and Bandit to reside. It’s not the Hollywood Hilton but it’s straight up out of a Hollywood blockbuster movie the way it is all working out for us.

The Struggle is Real

We could still use a couple dollars in the collection plate to help smooth the transition if you’re so inclined. I can ALMOST guarantee that you’ll get back multiple times the amount of any donation you make towards helping me and Bandit get a head start in the form of positive karma. After all, dog is God spelled backwards.

On a Wing and No Prayer

Like a Rolling Stone

Bandit and I are going to head out to Colorado Springs on Saturday May 2nd. We don’t yet have a car and traveling via bus with a pet dog is not permitted here in America, so we’ll be traveling on foot and carrying whatever of our meager possessions we can drag along.  The weather is warm enough now that I feel confident we won’t freeze to death en route, though I expect there will be enough other challenges and deprivations to suffice for the lack of blizzard conditions.

We will attempt to traverse the 700 mile divide at a minimum pace of ten miles per day, which works out to a total travel time of around 70 days.  If we hump it, or catch a ride here and there, we might make even arrive in Colorado Springs before the 4th of July, which will give “Independence Day” a whole new perspective for the both of us!

Carpe Diem

Of course we’re totally unprepared to walk the 700 miles to get to Colorado Springs, but what we lack in preparedness we will make up in moxie.  I’m determined to do whatever is necessary in an attempt to get to a place in the country where I can reasonably expect to make an honest living in an environment which is conducive to maintaining my physical and mental health.  Bandit and I aren’t looking for nirvana, just a place in America where the density of meth addicts and poverty isn’t higher than the national debt.

Fond Farewells

Come Saturday, we’ll be saying goodbye to Kelly Weaver here in Wagoner OK who has been heroic in providing me and Bandit a temporary landing zone midway between Mississippi and Colorado.  She has many burdens herself, and for her to step up to the plate the way she has to help me is a testament to her character.  Bandit and I will miss her joviality and companionship, as well as her precious pup Fidel.  She’s a good mom and a great friend and deserves better than the hand she’s been dealt in life.  Kelly is going to look after two of the four suitcases that consist of the totality of the personal possessions that I managed to get back to the US with me from Germany.  If I die along the way she is welcome to keep them.  If not, I’ll send her money and shipping directions in the near future.

On the Road Again

Next week, I’ll be just another of a large and growing cadre of aging homeless Vietnam era veterans wandering the streets and byways of America, but that’s a condition I will attempt to abate as soon as is humanly possible.  Even though me and my buddy Bandit have already lost nearly everything of a material nature and we’re still saddened and mourning Rita’s cancer death last year, I’m still optimistic and upbeat about our longer term prospects.  The fickle hand of fate hasn’t yet snatched my mental acuity or my health, though I imagine the former is up for review and debate, same as it ever was.  The latter is about to be tested in ways most men my age would be hard pressed to survive let alone embrace.  I’m actually looking forward to the challenge which I suspect is also prima facie evidence my mental acuity is not as sharp as I perceive it to be.

I still feel bad for those in worse shape than me and my dog, even as we are poised to crowd around the campfire at the hobo camps and highway underpasses ourselves.

Rocky Mountain Magic

I’ve settled on trying to rebuild my life in Colorado Springs because of the fond memories I have of living there during my (more) youthful years in the Air Force.  Because of the large military presence the support system for Vietnam era vets should be strong there if push comes to shove.  I hoping the vibrant economy in Colorado, coupled with my liberal mentality towards legalized marijuana might come in handy but finding a job in the marijuana industry isn’t at the top of my list of employment desires.  My first choice of employment would be in a vape shop where I could help people switch from smoking cigarettes to vaping (e-cigs), a switch I made myself shortly after arriving back in the US last year.  That noted,  I’m not turning down any legitimate means of employment.

If I’m lucky I’ll land several jobs and just manage to survive really close to the edge of disaster without falling off the cliff–you know–just like most ‘normal’ people do all over the country.  Sure would be nice for things to return to ‘normal’ again.

As fast as I’m approaching age 60, I don’t feel like I have a lot of time to waste sitting around and hoping things will work out on their own.  If you want to help add a degree of possible success to my life or a bit of a buffer against the fickle hand of fate,  I’ve included the requisite support links below.  It pains me to realize that if I were a fundamentalist Christian trying to deny gays a catered pizza wedding I’d have a greater chance of fundraising success than I’ll likely have trying to survive as a homeless liberal veteran, but such are the angsts of life.

I’m going to try and get a YouTube video up before I take off on Saturday.

Financial Support Options

Immediate Emergency Travel Assistance !!!

Assistance to help me get established After Arriving at Colorado Springs.

If you’re able and interested in helping me obtain a vehicle and secure an apartment after overcoming the turmoils of travel once Bandit and I get to Colorado Springs, I created the Indiegogo Life account for that purpose.  It is set to expire in sixty days and any funds collected are frozen and unavailable to me for the next two and a half months.  See you in Colorado Springs.

My long term goal of fundraising for the building an off grid tiny home is still active but I will not be promoting it again until I am established in Colorado and can contribute to it along with those of you who are fans of Tiny Homes, Me, or more likely, Bandit.

Enjoy.