Porn and Potato Chips

It started out innocently enough.  I just asked myself “I wonder who invented the modern potato chip” and here’s what happened next:

A Kettle Cooked Porn and Potato Chip History Lesson

Potato Chip Bra

 It occurred to me that there’s almost nothing more popular in late 20th century Americana than porn and potato chips.  In case you hadn’t heard, an independent study just confirmed that “porn and potato chips” are currently more than twice as popular as “mom and apple pie!

Documentation in support of this shocking announcement below the fold. Continue reading

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They Never See it Coming

assaultrock

NRA Membership #38874
2745 Mudbug Circle
Beauregard Flats, Louisiana

WASHINGTON — The National Rifle Association has rallied gun-owners — and raised tens of millions of dollars — campaigning against the threat of a national database of firearms or their owners.

But in fact, the sort of vast, secret database the NRA often warns of already exists, despite having been assembled largely without the knowledge or consent of gun owners. It is housed in the Virginia offices of the NRA itself.

This is not a problem for conservative gun owners. They believe that the NRA isn’t like the NSA.  Since it’s a private corporation, gun enthusiasts are super confident that the NRA database is vastly more secure than that of the bungling government NSA.  Besides, what could possibly go wrong if government “watchdogs” ever did decide they wanted that NRA database?

chillax

It’s not like there’s any contemporary history of western democratic governments ham-handedly seizing or forcing the destruction of private industry data, and anyway, now that everybody knows that Glenn Greenwald has a gay South American “partner”, all the heavily documented facts he’s been reporting on can be summarily dismissed as yesterday’s hoary gossip.

Finally, our long international nightmare is over!  There is no illegal spying going on against Americans.  That’s the lesson that will get printed in future US history books (because it’s the story the government is “selling” us today!).  It will be injected into the curriculum right after the lesson on all the missing WMD’s we found in Iraq.

Tim’s Take

The Tim Channel is 100% behind 100% strict government registration and regulation of all firearms.  I extend my personal thanks to the fundraising department at the NRA for collecting a list of several million of their most hardcore radicals.  It will indeed prove quite helpful in the event the former slave states once again decide to break into open rebellion.

There were no WMD’s in Iraq.

Disclaimer: All people shown in this post are fictional.  Any similarity to that of potential Republican 2016 contenders or nude male pornographers is purely coincidental.

Enjoy.

Case Closed

STOP THE PRESS.  I WAS WRONG!!  I CONSIDERED THE SOURCE OF THE RUMORS TO BE LYING BASED ON HIS PREVIOUS EXAMPLES THEREOF.  Makes the expression “Even a blind boar stumbles across an acorn in the woods every now and then.” even more relevant.

Here we go again folks.  The Anthony Weiner affair has been solved.   His account was apparently accessed by a fellow named Dan Wolfe.  The grizzly details are fully documented at the Cannonfire website linked below.  Danny has had it out for Weiner for some time now according to the reporting I’m seeing.

The important point is this: The anomaly in the header indicates that the image was not sent by Weiner. It had to have been sent by someone else.

Weiner is excluded. It is technically impossible for him to have sent the image.

If he had sent the image, a URL would have appeared below his name in the header. That is how Yfrog works. Try it yourself.

The URL goes missing only when an outsider inserts an image onto someone else’s Yfrog account.

In any event, this is typical of the kind of things we’ve come to expect from the Republicans.  I have avoided reading and watching most of the chatter on Weiner, because it was apparent by the level of rightwing pearl clutching that the whole thing was likely a Republican dirty trick.  The arc of the story matched what we’ve all come to expect from the rightwing noise machine.

The predictability of their criminality, combined with a reckless disregard for the truth has become the defacto standard by which they operate.   How do you know if a Republican is lying?  Just look to see if their lips are moving.

Enjoy.