What’s Really Going On.

To my fellow Americans.  Actual people I know, as well as those of you who appear real to me by virtue of your social media signatures, take note.

Trump colluded with the Russians, using sophisticated marketing analysis of data obtained from Facebook to Soviet mind-f#ck tens of millions of Americans into voting for him.

It would probably have been 100 percent legal if he hadn’t employed the services of Russian hackers and saboteurs which is what really pisses him off.  He thinks he can hire and fire ANYBODY he dam well pleases dontchaknow?

It was effective with at least some small percent of the most gullible among us.  They’re not hard to spot.  It’s like a sad remake of the Heaven’s Gate “Away Team“.

The Lazy Boyz Brigade (with Sean Hannity reprising the role of Marshall Applewhite), are eager to fall into full recline, consume the tainted Trump Steaks, tie a plastic bag full of Hillary’s stolen emails over their heads and then cover themselves with a purple MAGA blanket in anticipation of arrival at the Spaceship TruckNutz hiding behind the  Comet Hale-Bopp. where they will be be awarded with fifty virgin AR-15’s.

Having conclusively established evidence that you can fool some percent of the people all the time I still contend that Trump’s base numbers are as heavily inflated as both his ego and girth.

We’re being led to believe that Trump couldn’t shake off his supposed 33 percent of ‘core Republican supporters” even if he dug up the corpse of Reagan and shat all over it in a live pay per view TrumpTV event while Stormy Daniels, suspended from above, rained copious amounts of piss on his mangled mandarin mange.  And in an odd ‘Oh, by the way, which one’s Pink?” moment, his most solid support is reported to be among the most pious?

The acquisition of the data may very well have been a standard marketing transaction.  Selling your digital soul is what Facebook does that allows them to offer such fantastic ‘free’ services.

It’s all a part of that pesky Facebook TOS agreement being as least as difficult a legal quagmire as Trump’s side-whore confidentiality agreements.

Scientific application of that data, available to those with budgets far less grandiose and slightly less subversive than that of Soviet statecraft, can dramatically alter perceptions in ways that are academically demonstrable.

How in the bloody hell do you think diamonds became a girl’s best friend?

If you think Trump’s use of “FAKE” everything isn’t a calculated part of his Soviet funded propaganda campaign to overthrow America you probably already own the box set of purple MAGA blankets located amidst the stacks of old newspapers you’ve been hoarding since the late 1940’s.

The ginned up perception of Trump’s unflinching solid base of support is as fake as tits on a pumpkin.  It’s another ‘crowd size’ delusion being perpetrated by the ONGOING and unaddressed attack on reality being perpetrated by the Soviet state.

These aren’t just the opinions of a modern day prophet living in his van up in the high mountain meadows, these are mainstream, four star general, certified American hero patriot facts. 

Dear Donnie, you can’t pretend to support the troops while simultaneously shatting all over them (with Stormy Daniels suspended from above, pissing all over you..duh)  and get away without consequence, unless you are Putin on a display of epic treason.

About time Bobbie Brass Balls #Mueller puts the kibosh on all this IMHO.

Enjoy.

Northwest Parkway Snafu

I received what I presume is an automated billing in the mail today from a company that runs a toll road here in Colorado. It’s from an outfit called Northwest Parkway and I found their bill a bit disconcerting since I had not knowingly traveled any toll roads in the state in the last six months (or ever).

Their Detailed Account Activity

Upon examination, their “Detailed Account Activity”  ‘tags’ me at “Sheridan” back on the fourth of May at precisely 5:21:16.   This inevitably led me to the question: “Where was I and what was I doing that time of day on the fourth of May?”, as well as, “Where the hell is Sheridan?”.  I grabbed my trusty iPhone and started scrolling back to May 4th on my Facebook timeline.

My boss chimed in, “You were off on the fourth”, before I had even scrolled back thru my latest week of posts.  As I continued to scroll (and scroll and scroll), plowing thru a feed littered with the refuse of posts responding to the various high crimes and misdemeanors of President Pantywaist, I scoured my brain trying to figure out how I could have unwittingly fallen into a tollway trap.

To be clear, the amount is nil ($2.35) and it might be easier to pay it than protest, but I’m protesting since I have solid proof I was nowhere near anyplace named Sheridan on that time of day on the fourth of May.  

I am acting as the canary in the coal mine on this one folks.  Consider this a test of the customer service department of Northwest Parkway.  They will be provided a link to this story as well as my email address thru their online customer service form.  They provide no pre-formatted options to contest a bill that I could find on their website and since I’ll be forced to ‘tell’ this story to them at some point it seemed easier to document it out here and now.  My faith in corporate nature leads me to suspect they would not believe me on the basis of a friendly telephone contact alone.  I will share their response as an educational offering once I receive their reply.

My Detailed Account Activity

I left Lake Loveland around 5:11

Checked in at Cattail Creek at 5:35

Where was I on that day and time?  Sitting next to Lake Loveland most of the afternoon,  before pulling up stakes and driving around the lake to the golf course on 29th (Cattail Creek) around a quarter after five.  How can I be so sure? Blame it on my propensity to check in on Facebook/Yelp with such consistency if you must, but here are the screen shots off my iphone showing the check-in dates and times.  I checked into the course at 5:35.

Conclusion

The only “Sheridan” I can find seems to be an hour or more away from Loveland and my dear van Nelly Belle just ain’t up to those kinds of warp speeds.  I believe I have been shafted by ‘machine intelligence’ gone amok.  Now all that remains to be seen is if it’s too late for the humans to help me.
Enjoy.

Political Playtime

I figured I would take a short break from my hectic schedule of trying to rebuild my life from scratch to do a little political blogging.  We’re on the cusp of a Presidential election cycle and there’s a ton of stuff going on that needs sorting out.  So let’s get to sorting.

Sy Hersh

I believe him.  What he says makes perfect sense in context with what went down and the fact that the ‘mainstream’ media is piling on Hersh just adds more credibility to what he’s saying.  I can’t remember the last time mainstream media got anything right on issues of the Middle East since at least the New York Times Judith Miller reach-around.  It’s not like he’s saying anything that doesn’t fit exactly within the pattern of a longstanding pattern of Osama Bin Laden protectionism.  You can just see the Saudi’s tossing bundles of money at Pakistan to keep him under wraps and protected.  The only part I’m curious about at all is whether or not we knew he was there all along and Obama finally agreed to payoff whoever needed to be paid off to let us fly in there and take him out.

Invasion of Texas

The sooner the better IMHO. That said, isn’t it now patently obvious that the state which gave us George Bush is about as dedicated to supporting the military of this country as Jeb Bush is to being an honest politician?  The speed at which these numbskulls can go from flag waving patriots to secessionist blowhards is mind numbing.  Expect an “army” of mobility-assisted Medicare seniors to attempt to recreate a scene from Red Dawn in a couple of months when the US military goes to Texas for training.  You’ll want to stock up on gold and seed stock.  Argh.  Go Wolverines!

Bernie Sanders

He’s been saying the same thing for years.  Doesn’t change his position from week to week or news cycle to news cycle.  The people’s candidate.  Don’t let anyone tell you he can’t be elected.  We elected an unknown Black guy president and then re-elected him.  Bernie Sanders is a shoo-in.  I wonder if Hillary would be interested in the vice-presidency?   Go Bernie!

Black People

Black people are pissed.  If you were Black you’d be pissed too.  How about reigning in the out of control police state and prison industrial complex and give our minority citizens a break?  And don’t tell me how slavery ended hundreds of years ago or that Black folks aren’t being continuously harassed and discriminated daily.  Now they’re being accused of turning the country atheist.  If it’s true I’m glad for their support but O’Reilly is just trying to tar and feather the Black folks with everything he envisions as evil.  The country would be a helluva lot better off if Black folks actually were turning to secularism instead of wasting their time and money supporting fake ass preachers looking to buy fifty million dollar Lear Jets.

Jeb Bush

Iraq.  Does he or doesn’t he?  Only his pollster knows for sure.  What kind of mental midget with the last name of Bush is going to think he has a snowball’s chance in Hell of winning the presidency?  Only one whose last name is Bush.   FFS.  There must be a fund raising bonanza or a tax break involved for him to put himself through this much humiliation.

Enjoy.

 

 

 

In the Meantime

Muskogee to Memphis

While I am working on soliciting donations to continue on my path down the road of life I am not sitting idly by twiddling my thumbs and toes just because there doesn’t seem to be an employer in my local vicinity who is interested in employing me at slave wages and exploiting my superlative set of skills.  I don’t get too bummed out by that seemingly incomprehensible set of circumstances given the overall state of educational and economic depravity I’m surrounded by.  It’s just further evidence of the bad decision making skills of the people in the area.  LOL.

In the Meantime

In the meantime I’m spending my time doing what any able bodied homeless vet (or bag lady) would do given the ‘opportunities’ that present themselves in the land of the free and the home of the brave.  I’m out collecting aluminum cans.  I have no idea what they are worth as I have yet to actually sell any of them but they must have some intrinsic value greater than zero or our cities wouldn’t be overwhelmed with images of homeless folks pushing shopping carts stacked to the brim with them.

I’d mow lawns if I had a lawn mower.  I’d do some other odd job if I hadn’t lost all my tools in my moves back and forth beyond the oceanic horizon. Lacking a vehicle does nothing to improve my situation one bit as I’m sure there are some jobs right outside my limited field of travel that I might be able to bag but given my experience to date I wouldn’t call that a ‘slam dunk’ either.

I’d put on a pair of roller skates and deliver your slush and corn dog order to your car at the local Sonic for that matter,  but I guess the sight of a skinny ass old guy wheeling around in their parking lot isn’t as desirable in terms of public perception as I had otherwise hoped it would be when I wandered into the place based on their “Walk In applications welcome on Tuesdays” flashing sign, only to find that “walking in” for the application required I first do their online application (WTF?) which of course I did before returning for my walk-in application the following Tuesday!   I’m nothing if not persistent and I’m trying to put to rest the tired stereotype that folks who want to work can easily find jobs because that’s as old a trope as “both parties in this country are the same, so why bother voting at all”.  Vote for Bernie Sanders, 2016.  Before it’s too late.

Enjoy.

Survivor-Candy Island

Not Even a Hint of Irony

We’re halfway through another season of Survivor – the “reality” show where contestants are abandoned and forced to make do with nothing but their outsized egos, sense of entitlement, and enough rice and beans to stave off any actual threat of starvation.

More often than not, there isn’t even a decent fire-starter in the whole mix of contestants and if hunger pangs get too dire (because Bubba eats up all the beans), you can count on Jeff Probst tossing in a reward challenge full of Snickers or short ribs.. Am I the only one who wonders how far up the beach they’d have to walk to find the luxury resort where the camera crew resides?

The Good Old Days are Gone

Nowadays, Survivor is all fun and games, with no real threat of not actually surviving.  It wasn’t always a beach vacation because in the early years there were contestants that nearly died from the harshness of the challenges and environment.  CBS has effectively turned Survivor into Beach Blanket Bingo and any of the drama from the actual survival element of the game is long gone.  Nowadays, it’s an odd occurrence if somebody doesn’t voluntarily leave the game due to being butt-hurt that they aren’t as popular in a group setting as they hoped they’d be.

“I’m so bummed out I can’t take it anymore” is reason number one most exit the game on their own accord.

It’s almost like none of them actually need or care about winning a big pile of money.  The halcyon days of seeing a dude’s face melt off while trying to maintain the fire are long gone.  Being forced to collect water downstream of a pissing rhino?  Gone.  The sweet taste of toasted rat?  Pffft.

‘”Survivor” has morphed into a (sad) metaphor for the molly-coddled upbringing most of the younger contestants bring to the game.  If they could actually catch a shark they wouldn’t eat it, they’d jump over it.

I don’t want to be accused of pointing out problems for which I don’t offer a viable solution, so those who are inclined to accuse me of that need only hang around long enough for part two in this mini-series to find an equitable solution to the problem of finding an honest version of Survivor to satiate their reality TV addiction now that the Survivor we all fell in love with has gone soft.  Stay tuned for an example of what real-life survival actually entails these days.

Enjoy.