Debating God Slobberers
Long before they go cosmological or ontological on you, there’s this bit of pablum you have to wade through with almost all of your run-of-the-mill God slobberers. Here’s the short list of the debating tactics of those on the religious short bus and how to deal with them:
The Gob Slobberer Starter Toolkit
1. You are mad at/hate God.
2. You wish to masturbate (more enthusiastically?) without oversight. (Masturbation just manages to squeeze out “practice homosexuality” as the ‘go-to sin” above the Mason-Dixon line).
3. You are lashing out at “the church” because (e.g.) a priest masturbated you a little too enthusiastically or you had some other negative experience at church.
4. You haven’t looked for God in the right places.
The Skeptics Responses
1. I wish there was a God to be mad at but since that’s s a fantasy of yours I don’t share I’m going to have to hold you personally responsible for all the chowder-headed nonsense you’re spewing and the damage that occurs as a result.
2. I do the best I can not to embarrass the ghost of Oscar Wilde.
3. The soft hand of a Catholic priest would have been a Godsend in lieu of the total subjugation of my mind which was attempted in order to help me find comfort in the patently ridiculous notions being promulgated by mindless goobers like you.
4. I looked everywhere for God as a child, but it was all to no avail. Were the father, son and holy ghost all too busy for for my toast? Upon puberty it finally hit me. Vaginas seemed the likeliest hideout for God that I hadn’t already searched in my youth. Checked a bunch….nada God there..
I’ll keep looking to broaden the sample size but I’m skeptical I’ll find anything other than an echo in even the largest of vaginas.
Maybe God is too ashamed to show his face after looking around and seeing what a horrible job he did in the first place. That’s a distinct possibility and the one I’d run up the flagpole if I was a master goober in religious apologetics.
The WordPress “Stat-bot” prepared a 2014 annual report for my blog.
Here’s an excerpt:
The concert hall at the Sydney Opera House holds 2,700 people. This blog was viewed about 30,000 times in 2014. If it were a concert at Sydney Opera House, it would take about 11 sold-out performances for that many people to see it.
Thanks to all the parents for letting me get these photos of their cherubic progeny while I was wandering the aisles of various Fort Dodge merchants today doing my usual window shopping while my sister stocked up on holiday food for the upcoming Thanksgiving feast! I turned 57 half an hour ago, and if I don’t get a single present this year it’ll be fine by me because the joy I captured in the faces of these kids is worth more than all the presents in the world.
Good morning to all. This is the first service from America since returning from my socialist utopia in Europe. As such, I’m highlight a song this Sunday that I ran across right before leaving Germany. It was part of a Philliips Ambilight commercial I saw and what caught my attention was the part about not talking the easy road. Why do you suppose that struck a chord with me? LOL.
I hear a voice calling
Calling out for me
These shackles I’ve made in an attempt to be free
Be it for reason, be it for love
I won’t take the easy road
Prelude to Services
See all of you soon at the top of the stairs!
At the top of the stairs they got keys to Cadillacs, BMW’s Mercedes Benz’s and all of that.