I received what I presume is an automated billing in the mail today from a company that runs a toll road here in Colorado. It’s from an outfit called Northwest Parkway and I found their bill a bit disconcerting since I had not knowingly traveled any toll roads in the state in the last six months (or ever).
Their Detailed Account Activity
Upon examination, their “Detailed Account Activity” ‘tags’ me at “Sheridan” back on the fourth of May at precisely 5:21:16. This inevitably led me to the question: “Where was I and what was I doing that time of day on the fourth of May?”, as well as, “Where the hell is Sheridan?”. I grabbed my trusty iPhone and started scrolling back to May 4th on my Facebook timeline.
My boss chimed in, “You were off on the fourth”, before I had even scrolled back thru my latest week of posts. As I continued to scroll (and scroll and scroll), plowing thru a feed littered with the refuse of posts responding to the various high crimes and misdemeanors of President Pantywaist, I scoured my brain trying to figure out how I could have unwittingly fallen into a tollway trap.
To be clear, the amount is nil ($2.35) and it might be easier to pay it than protest, but I’m protesting since I have solid proof I was nowhere near anyplace named Sheridan on that time of day on the fourth of May.
I am acting as the canary in the coal mine on this one folks. Consider this a test of the customer service department of Northwest Parkway. They will be provided a link to this story as well as my email address thru their online customer service form. They provide no pre-formatted options to contest a bill that I could find on their website and since I’ll be forced to ‘tell’ this story to them at some point it seemed easier to document it out here and now. My faith in corporate nature leads me to suspect they would not believe me on the basis of a friendly telephone contact alone. I will share their response as an educational offering once I receive their reply.
My Detailed Account Activity
Where was I on that day and time? Sitting next to Lake Loveland most of the afternoon, before pulling up stakes and driving around the lake to the golf course on 29th (Cattail Creek) around a quarter after five. How can I be so sure? Blame it on my propensity to check in on Facebook/Yelp with such consistency if you must, but here are the screen shots off my iphone showing the check-in dates and times. I checked into the course at 5:35.
The only “Sheridan” I can find seems to be an hour or more away from Loveland and my dear van Nelly Belle just ain’t up to those kinds of warp speeds. I believe I have been shafted by ‘machine intelligence’ gone amok. Now all that remains to be seen is if it’s too late for the humans to help me.