Dear Atheism Plus

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We have heard talk enough. We have listened to all the drowsy, idealess, vapid sermons that we wish to hear. We have read your blogs, and the works of your best minds. We have heard your wild claims, your solemn groans and your repetitive ad hominems. All these amount to less than nothing. We want one fact. We beg at the doors of your barricaded forums for just one little fact.

We work tirelessly, bringing together our many disparate voices to implore you for just one fact. We know all about your moldy old logic and your stale misogynist dogma.

We want a ‘this year’s fact’. We ask only one. Give us one fact for charity. Where do you store the information on all the reported rapes and assaults that you form the basis of your movement? Specifically those that have happened at atheist or skeptic events in the past five years (or forever) Call those silly rationalists crazy, but they like evidence.

Your miraculous elevator stories are too ancient. You accord the solitary witnesses with all the accolades normally reserved by the Catholic Church for a teenage girl who chats up the Virgin Mary.

The definition of “truth and veracity” in the neighborhood where you reside is wholly unknown to us. Give us a new miracle, and substantiate it by producing witnesses who still have the cheerful habit of living outside the moat of the #atheismplus castle..

We want a return to skeptic events free of the feminine winds of whine. Most of us were already aware the wine is better in first class before Becky noted it in Slate.. Nor shall you put us in the fire with the actual rapists. Do not compel us to navigate the torrid seas of your pet fears, nor to dine and drink with Rebecca Watson. We have positively lost all interest in that original little speech delivered by PZ’s donkey, a spewage so vile, Richard Dawkins grabbed a shovel.

There is also no sort of use in sending us snipe-hunting with Surly Amy, the Mother Teresa of #atheismplus. The 27.3% of me that Is female is offended that she is more concerned with the issue of fake jewelry than the more abusive societal pressures inducing many women into cosmetic surgery. Why she shows more enthusiasm in championing the issue of fake jewelry (isn’t hers “fake” by gemological standards?) above that of the trauma of needless female surgery is beyond me. Ban fake tits, not fake jewelry.

I’m not Huey Lewis. I don’t want a new drug, I want ONE police report that backs up your religious claims with more veracity than a Mormon missionary beating me over the head with Joseph Smith. At this point in time, the Scientologists have better documentation for their beliefs in Xenu than you do for violence against women at any atheist event, ever.

Enjoy.

h/t: http://whyevolutionistrue.wordpress.com/
Original Remix courtesy: http://www.infidels.org/library/historical/robert_ingersoll/gods.html

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4 thoughts on “Dear Atheism Plus

  1. That’s honestly like asking a creationist to give you a fact. It won’t happen because their system isn’t based on facts, it’s based on emotion. It’s sad that you’re wasting your time, what’s sadder is that these people who pretend to be rational will call you names because you dared to ask.

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