Gonzo Survivor Recap


Looking for episode three recap? Don’t despair! I will likely get it posted before episode four hits the airwaves.

Think of this installment as the better late than never edition in this wacky One World Survivor season. Gonzo reporters work on their own time. Be thankful for what you get.

After surviving the obligatory waste of time spent visually recapping last week’s accident-tainted opening episode, a heaping helping of the emotionally distressed Nancy-boy does little to lighten the mood.

We are offered multiple scenes wherein C-boy is shown trying to outdo even the most prototypically worthless Survivor contestants in the art of laziness. Juxtaposed cleverly against the backdrop of his tribe doing the actual job of, you know…surviving.

Poor C-boy’s social ineptitude has even ostracized him from the women who formerly loved him, leaving him in a funk of epic proportion. We haven’t witnessed internal angst of this proportion since Hantz the Younger’s turmoil with having to share an island with the whores of Babylon last season.

Just about the time the show’s producers have us all anticipating a possible Survivor suicide, we get a minor tension break in the form of an actual plot element.

I was hoping imagining a quick cut to a scene of C-boy attempting self immolation on a scale that would dwarf the attempted sacrifice by fire of Survivor Australia’s Michael Skupin. It was not to be however, as our despondent C-boy gained enough mental balance to realize his immunity idol could help him to leverage his way into a power block with the other assorted oddballs not officially in the GQ collection of self chosen apostles.

Cut to Reward Challenge where the women lost the chance to win a tarp, the utility of which is made painfully obvious in the sneak previews of episode three.

Cut to the immunity challenge where the women lose yet again, and in a spectacular show of incompetence just to keep the meme alive. The thing that made this challenge so much more particularly galling than the others, is that balance challenges in the past seemed to favor the women. Unless the producers introduce a toenail painting challenge, it is hard to imagine anything other than ongoing gloom and desperation from the women of One World in the challenge department.

This is the perfect time to comment on the ever present “bolstering” by Probst as he does his best to heighten the obvious lack of competitive equality by constantly reminding the women that they still have a chance to win this challenge. Yeah, if by “win” you mean the guys all suddenly have strokes and fall to their death. It looked to me like the entire men’s tribe finished the challenge before the first woman completed the walk. Tension so not thick you could cut it with a butter knife.

Cut to Tribal council where the competent, but older contestant is tossed in favor of keeping the air-headed Barbie blonde who was at the center of the challenge meltdown.

Cut to preview scenes of next episode where the girls might start to wonder if it was really such a good idea to stop C-boy helping them add an extra layer of thatch to their roof.


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