Defkalion Diddling

Guess the reason for the anticipated failure of Defkalion testing on their LENR reactor:

Enjoy.

All The Lonely E-Cats

I watched an episode of Gold Rush Alaska where they repaired the huge broken main gear on a Caterpillar excavator in a little over a day.

I’ve witnessed incredible feats of mechanical maintenance watching Bobby’s crew tearing up trees on Swamp Loggers.

But you ain’t seen nothin’ until you watch that crazy bastard of an
airplane mechanic on Ice Pilots literally rebuild the engine on some WW2 era cargo plane in the middle of a blizzard over a weekend.

Meanwhile, a broken and lonely E-cat sits for months awaiting gasket repairs while the world continues waiting on the transformational technology of a lifetime.

Makes perfect sense if you don’t think about it.

Enjoy.

Gonzo Survivor Recap

Episode One, One World

One world is one beach?  OK.  Blows my expectation of seeing scantily clad foreign women competing against the best America has to offer, but what the hell.  You turn the dial, you take your chances.  At the end of the day, it’s another men-versus-women season.  Let the Pagonging begin!!

Typical recap columns set the stage and name all the characters.  Screw that.  The stage is a beach and most of the players will be gone before I can remember their names anyway.  Seeing how the entire flock seems to be stereotypically inept coeds and macho frat boys, what’s the harm?  There’s no old people this season.  It’s apparently”One World - Logan’s Run” edition.  While I’m bitching about casting, can I have somebody besides the (always humorous and extremely lovable) Nancy-boys to root for (and yes, I saw the midget little person).  Now that the lovable flaming homosexual has a hidden immunity idol,   I wonder if we’ll get to see his demonic side, ala Cochran from last season?

That said, thank goodness we don’t have any uptight righteous bible-thumpers on this year.  Last year’s season – Coach’s Jesuit Revival, was hard to watch, what with the memories of Jonestown still floating about in my head.  Don’t get me wrong.  It wasn’t a total waste.  Seeing that young Hantz boy struggling between the good book and his masturbatory fantasies of all the girls was something for the ages.

But I digress.  It’s One World time.  And in the sixtieth season of Survivor nothing has really changed.  Not one woman can either build or maintain (stolen ember) a fire.  Commenting after negotiating with the men to build them a fire, one girl says, “They built us a better fire pit than we could have done”.  Note to girl:  It’s a hole in the ground not rocket science.  WTF?

On to the immunity challenge.  Cute ironic hippie chick breaks her wrist in the first jump on the first challenge of the new season.   Advantage guys.  Of course we weren’t spared the spectacle of women’s tribal council, which resembled an episode of The View more than any in recent memory.   Once the girls quit mud wrestling each other, Probst lets them know that ironic hippie chick is out.  He chides them for their incompetence and we fade to black.

Enjoy.

Hot Air vrs. Hot Water

Some guy named Rossi claims to have a device called an E-cat that mysteriously produces nearly free hot water through a process that is not thoroughly described.  His public tests of the device are riddled with experimental oversights/errors/manipulations that we’ve all come to expect from these ongoing free energy enthusiasts.  In spite of (or in place of?) an actual working commercial prototype, Rossi has been making near daily pronouncements concerning the production arrangements he’s making for the delivery of ONE MILLION E-cats.  In lieu of a proper scientific demo, Rossi and his supporters conveniently offer that a ‘mystery customer’ is in possession of a working unit.  Suffice it to say that there is equal uncertainty in the grandiosity of the business claims made by Mr. Rossi as well.  Here’s a link to a website that reprints Rossi stuff regularly.  The comments section is really a wonder to behold.

There is a GUESS THE MYSTERY CLIENT link at the aforementioned website where I offered the following guess:

——————————————-

First rule of mystery customer e-cat fantasy fight club is that we get to make up the rules as we go along. That’s mostly a tribute to THE MAN (Rossi) because that is his modus operandi as well. Rule number two: See number one.

Hmm. Which imaginary mystery customer can I come up with that will top the list of witty and humorous offerings already offered for….err….analysis? It’ll be hard to limit myself to JUST one as I find ridiculing LENR hyperbole is at least as delicious as a Lays potato chip.

Today however, I offer the definitive SINGLE answer (in lieu of a bunch of fantasyland bullcrap – I think we’ve all had as much of that as we can take in a lifetime), as free of satire and irony as any post you have ever seen me posit.

I fully expect that once I expose this information (which I have no real excuse for having), it will (in lieu of definitively knowing the actual ‘mystery’ customer…lol) become the defacto solution. I expect it to be cut and pasted widely around the net. I await the applause of the cheering masses with the enthusiasm Rossi displays when responding to questions on his blog. Questions that are obviously emanating from couch-bound cheeto munching 40-year-old guys typing furiously on their laptops from the basement of their parents home as they breathlessly share their latest insights into the musings of theoretical physics. Who knew there was so much collective wisdom in folks just a couple credits shy of their associates degree at the local community college??….But I digress.

You’re ALL probably wondering why I am wasting all this time withholding this explosive and mind-blowing news, but in tribute to Rossi’s cut and pasting of all those meeleon preorders out of his email and blog comments section into his Franklin Day planner, I felt it behooved me to show a similar.. restraint .. in my own declarative process. The backstory to the business aspects of the E-cat, like sex (and an actual workings E-cat), are best served up slowly and with the lights dim enough to hide the warts and wrinkles.

All public demonstrations of the E-cat device are to be accompanied by supporting documentation that is as free of conclusive facts as 1970′s porn is free of focus and that’s not an easy task indeed. I have chosen to breach this barrier and tally no more!!!! To wit:

RADIO SHACK IS THE MYSTERY CUSTOMER OF ROSSI’S E-CAT DEVICE!!!

Radio Shack, doing business under the acquired business name of Tandy Leather (it’s got an N in it somewhere and it’s in Texas!). which they bought up innocently enough in 1963. But the thing to remember is that N is really CODE for R (Radio Shack) and meant as a diversion to keep the curious distracted. Radio Shack is a huge electronics giant in the US. Their research department spotted something a lot of people are just NOW starting to figure out. They actually chose to use N as the diversionary letter because it’s four spaces earlier in the alphabet than R (Radio Shack) and those four spaces are reported by insiders at Radio Shack HQ as a metaphor of the four space truncation we around here refer to as LENR!!

Midway thru 2000, upon taking notice of the advancements in CF post Pons-Fleishman, Radio Shack obviously came up with a daring strategy. If not for the scrutiny of being at the center of the most historic energy shift in history, it might otherwise have gone unnoticed. Just read the first paragraph under the Wikipedia page for Radio Shack! I don’t make the news people, I just report it. Look it up:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tandy_Corporation

What the hell you say there Tim? Well, hear me out. Rossi is from the Italian side of the Martini & Rossi wine family. It’s common knowledge that Italians favor fine leather almost as much as fine wine. Processing hardened leather involves a step where boiling water is involved (http://www.personal.utulsa.edu/~marc-carlson/leather/hl.html) giving Tandy a plausible excuse for approaching Rossi as a trusted customer in the first place. Radio Shack was smart to formally extinguish the Tandy brand name over ten years ago when they first envisioned this scenario—making it much more difficult for Rossi to make the Radio Shack – Tandy connection!!

Radio ShackTandy approaches Rossi to buy a unit for ‘hardening leather”. Rossi, feeling an affinity for an industry that is well established in his mother country decides that Tandy would make an excellent test customer. Rossi is however, totally unaware that Radio Shack actually owns Tandy Leather and is really gunning on getting it’s top people (kids 8-14 Some soldering required) involved in reverse engineering the e-cat Rossi sold to Tandy Leather. It’s pretty obvious if you don’t think about it.

Radio Shack will be selling cloned E-cats under the Optimus label before Christmas next year. You will be pointing this post out to your progeny for generations as the revelatory equivalent of Jesus on a piece of toast. Yes indeed. That’s just how important this bit of news really is.

Enjoy.